Midpack Mama

Shades of Beauty

2012-02-08T20:56:00.000-05:00

Isabel and I were at the mall yesterday and after she "helped" me shop (where "help" means that she selects a every article of pink clothing for me before trying to sit in the mannequins lap), we went to the makeup counter so she could look at lip gloss. Yes, I did use the lip gloss as incentive for Isabel to behave. This is not bribery, but merely insurance. We went to the makeup counter where the nice lady lip gloss on Isabel while I checked out the free bonus gift with purchase. Isabel's lips looked like this.

Fantastic, right? I mean, not for a three year old, but the lip color is great. Then I remembered that I am running low on mascara. The mascara didn't cost enough to get the bonus, but with that gorgeous lip gloss, I can get the bonus. This is what I call a win-win. We made our purchase and headed to the car, where I tried out my new lip gloss. It looked like this.

Yes, that is the same lip gloss in both pictures. Clearly Isabel and I have different coloring. I guess this just goes to show that the lip gloss is not what makes Isabel beautiful. What a lucky little girl!

Things you shouldn't have to say...

2012-02-02T08:03:00.000-05:00

As a parent, we all find ourselves saying things that we never really thought we would have to say. Like when Alex was having "tummy time" as a baby and I had to tell Devin not to roll him around the room. Or when Isabel got into my makeup bag, in the car, and decided to put the 'black lipstick' on her lips. But the black lipstick was mascara and suddenly my goth daughter and my back seat were one huge slimy black mess. I told her that little girls never wear black makeup and she shouldn't put anything black on her lips.
This morning Alex was packing up for school and I told him he probably needed a sweatshirt because it was cold. He grabbed one and immediately used it to wipe his nose. He was standing next to the desk where the tissue box sits. I said, "Do you want to wear your boogers to school today?" The answer was no. So I suggested that he put that sweatshirt in the hamper and find a clean one.

What to do...

2012-01-26T14:44:00.000-05:00

We have been a little ill around here lately. The boys have avoided the yucky cold, but the rest have fallen prey, and Isabel went down the hardest.

So, what do you do when you are home with a little girl whose nose is a faucet? One who wants to cuddle on the couch constantly, except when she is demanding more tissue, "and some lotion please for my red nose". Well, you cuddle. A lot. And you read books and sing songs. If she's really ambitious, you may make it to the table for some crafts (preferably painting or play doh - the messier the better). Finally, when she is tired and just wants to zone out you put on a movie ("Annie" being the latest favorite) and hop on the bike trainer to sneak a little exercise in while she is occupied. aaah - the life of a Mommy.
The cuddles are great though.

Big day

2012-01-23T22:06:00.004-05:00

I cleaned out my sock drawer today. Whoop! Do I know how to have fun or what?!

Just Label It

2012-01-21T15:25:00.005-05:00

When is comes to food, I've been a label reader for the last fifteen years. It started when I decided to make a change for my health and primarily focus on losing weight. I had always been athletic and active, but was never thin and my weight crept up through high school and college. So I was learning about eating better and watching fat and calorie intake and reading labels. When I started buying food for my kids, I would look at ingredients to ensure that I wasn't buying things like bread and apple sauce with high fructose corn syrup. My thought was that my kids didn't need the extra sugar in the things that they eat every day (the bread) and the things that they like without the extra sugar (since I never add sugar when I make applesauce from scratch).
Some of my friends have made pretty extreme changes to the foods that their families eat. One cut out gluten because potential links with their child's ADHD. Another removed casein and gluten because of the impact on Aspergers. One went vegan because of possible links between animal proteins and her autoimmune disease, and noticed a positive affect on her husband's Chrone's disease.
While my family has been lucky enough not to have any health issues that are tied to foods, we are also concerned about all that we have been hearing about high fructose corn syrup and genetically modified foods. We live in a rich country that has more food than ever, and yet there are more food issues and allergies than ever. The more Andy and I learned about food processing (thanks to movies like Food Inc and countless websites) the more we are concerned about what we are feeding our families. Food manufacturing and processing has changed exponentially over the last 20 years and I firmly believe that the methods used are a huge contributor to the rise in obesity and food allergies that we see today. The food that we ate as kids may have the same name, but it is not made the same way as the food we used to eat.

Andy and I are still label readers, but now our focus is more on buying food that is natural rather than low fat. If my kids can't pronounce the ingredients then we probably shouldn't be eating them.

Just Label It

Devin's Eclipse

2012-01-15T13:12:00.000-05:00

The kids were doing art projects today, and Devin came up with this:

Every now and then I have a moment when I realize that Devin is growing up, and this was one of them. I love his creativity and ingenuity. He is learning so many new and interesting things, and our conversations (and his questions) are getting more complex and challenging. I love it.

Izzy's Jukebox

2012-01-05T13:46:00.002-05:00

Isabel has been singing all day long. Here is her play list:

Love You Like a Love Song - Selena Gomez
Someone Like You - Adele
Shake Those 'Simmons Down - Music Together
Tik Tok on the Clock - Ke$ha
Save Me San Francisco - Train
Everybody Dance Now - C+C Music Factory
Play the Drum - Music Together
Dynamite - Taio Cruz
Chicken Fried - Zac Brown Band

I certainly appreciate her varied music taste, and take comfort in the fact that at least a couple of the songs are intended for little kids (the ones from her Music Together class). I managed to catch one of her performances*. Check it out:

* Please note: wearing pajamas at 2pm is perfectly acceptable in our world. Enjoy the booty shake.

Doubt Me

2012-01-03T08:23:00.002-05:00

Last night I dreamt that a poem I had recently written was getting published. Clearly this was a dream, since it has been about fifteen years since my poetry writing days. But in my dream I was a writer of poetry and a pretty good one at that. The poem that was getting recognition was bitter and more than a little pissed off, kind of like an Ani DiFranco song I used to listen to in my "single in the city" days when dating was complicated and sometimes painful.
But this poem wasn't about dating or even about writing. It was my response to someone who thought I was incapable of doing something. It was about someone doubting me and I was mad. My dream never revealed who didn't believe in me or what they thought I could not do; the dream did made it clear that I not only proved myself, but went on to write about it.
I woke up feeling surprised. First of all, I am surrounded by the most supportive and encouraging family and friends, and I cannot think of anyone who would tell me that I cannot achieve something that I want to do. Second, I was surprised that doubt could be such a motivator for me. Cognitively, I understand that "proving yourself" relies on some amount of doubt, but I rarely feel like I have anything to prove. Mostly, I was surprised at the anger I felt toward whomever doubted me in my dream.
I really wish I could remember that poem.

Happiness is...

2011-12-29T22:11:00.000-05:00

spending a jammie day with my Buddy dog and my twinkle toes...

Making spirits bright

2011-12-26T21:50:00.001-05:00

Some pictures from our very merry Christmas morning...

Devin is a little excited!

Alex's biggest Lego challenge yet!

merry merry

Devin quickly decided to take this show outside... before 8am.

Nothing like riding my new bike in my new boots with my new bear.

Buddy is enjoying his Christmas gifts.

Party Rockin in the House Tonight

Izzy and I doing a little Dancy Party 3!

We want snow!!

2011-12-22T20:57:00.002-05:00

Isabel insists that it can't be Christmas without snow. Even though the temps are in the fifties and sixties, she and Devin are prepared.

Christmas Card 2011

2011-12-13T20:48:00.000-05:00

Here are some shots that didn't make the cut... but they are still darn cute!

December is...

2011-12-10T20:28:00.001-05:00

December is crazy. Too busy for words. So for December I will follow the mantra that a picture is worth a thousands words.

my tiny dancer

Ta Da!!

Thunder Road part III - post mortem

2011-11-15T22:02:00.001-05:00

Ok. So I really didn't see this coming, but I PR'd Thunder Road again. (Insert huge cheesy grin here). It was tough though. I started off moving well and just went with it. I was running at a 9:10 pace for the first eight or nine miles. I was going to PR! Then the hills started taking a toll on me, and the mile markers started getting farther and farther apart (or so it seemed). I walked while getting my eater at the water station after mile marker ten for a few seconds and my legs were really cramping. But I kept running. The hills after mile marker eleven were brutal. I wanted so badly to walk up the hills, but I promised Alex* I wouldn't. I shuffled along, cramping in my side and my legs. I kept running. By then I knew a PR was an option, but not a guarantee. Somewhere in mile twelve I picked up my pace. When I saw my friends and family near the finish I got that extra burst to finish strong.

2:02:08

Nearly a minute faster than last year, and few minutes faster than I thought I would run that day. I was thrilled!! This was an accomplishment that I only achieved because of the support of my friends and family, and especially because of my Alex.

* Alex got up early before my race and wished me good luck while the rest of the house slept. I hugged him tight and I told him that at some point my race would get really hard and I would want to walk, but I wouldn't walk because I would think about Alex and his good luck and that would make me keep going. He liked that and gave me a huge smile.

Thunder Road part III

2011-11-11T20:38:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow I am running the Thunder Road half marathon for the third time. It's a very hilly race through some of the most beautiful neighborhoods in Charlotte. I know how hard those hills can be. I am not planning on a PR. But I am really excited to do this race again. There is something really comforting in returning to an event year after year.

I've loved this shirt since I first saw it in 2009. I figure after three times I've earned it. Flat is for sissies. =)

Happiness

2011-11-09T21:37:00.000-05:00

Happiness is making your very first nutella and banana sandwich. Yum!!

Courage

2011-11-03T15:48:00.001-05:00

There are a number of women in my life who are recovering and recuperating from injuries or surgeries (or about to have surgery). They all seem to be making progress, but each of them wants to be further than they are now. I completely understand this. It is frustrating not to be completely self sufficient or not to be able to do the things that bring up joy (and sanity). Some of my girls will not walk for weeks, some will walk but cannot run or cannot do the "normal" things that make up their lives. No matter what the situation, each wants to be doing more and feeling better.
When I broke my leg three and a half years ago, I was in the same place. For a month, I hopped around on crutches before I could put weight on my foot. I could make myself a cup of coffee, but I couldn't bring it to the table to drink it. I could feed and change Isabel (who was three months old at the time) but I could not carry her. I had a five year old, a three year old, a three month old and four weeks on crutches. My worries about losing baby weight and maybe training for races were long gone. I could not prepare a meal for my family. I could not do laundry. I needed help. I needed to heal.
These are the times in our lives when we need accept both our limitations and (when needed) the help of others. Our bodies need time to recover and recuperate and we owe it to ourselves to take that time. It takes some degree of courage to do this; courage to accept that we cannot do the things that we want to do; courage to lower our expectations of ourselves. This is a difficult thing to do.
For my girls who are living this right now, I hope that they can be gentle with themselves as their bodies heal.

Battle of Books

2011-10-28T20:12:00.002-05:00

Devin is obsessed with the Percy Jackson books. A friend gave him the first three of the series for his eighth birthday. He devoured them.
For those of you unaware, Percy Jackson is a twelve-year-old demigod (meaning he's the son of a mortal woman and the Greek god Poseidon). Percy goes to a camp for demigods where he learns to leverage some of his talents, like harnessing the power of water (did I mention he's Poseidon's son?) and fighting with weapons and he befriends a satyr and other demigods. Then Percy and his friends go on a quest to prevent a war between the Greek gods Zeus, Poseidon and Hades. That is the high-level summary of the first book. Devin has read all five (of the 300+ page books) in the series. Then he asked about the next series by the same author. This one continues with the Greek gods, but the books are even longer and the plots and the cast of characters continues to grow.
I love it. This kid will willingly pick up one of these books at any time and disappear. I am thrilled that he has found a series that has deepened his love of reading. I just wish that there were more books in the series. We are down to the last book, and I am wondering what will be next. Therefore, I have been encouraging Devin to branch out to other book series. I have suggested Harry Potter and 39 Clues (my niece's recommendation) but he has no interest. No interest in Harry Potter?!? This is the series that made reading cool for a whole new generation of kids. I have read every one of the books, and they are phenomenal. I just don't understand it. We have had this conversation more than once, and Devin remains resolute. He is not interested in reading Harry Potter.
In the car tonight Andy was asking Devin about the Percy Jackson books, and he finally got to the root of Devin's issue with Harry Potter. Devin said, "Percy Jackson is cool. He fights with swords and water and stuff. Harry Potter just has a wand." When you put it that way, it sounds much less cool.
So I am open for recommendations....

all in the span of two hours

2011-10-19T19:41:00.001-05:00

It started with a lack of water. We had no water. Toilets weren't flushing, faucets were dribbling. I called the water company only to learn that the water was shut off for lack of payment. What? So I hopped online to see that my scheduled payment was supposed to go through today. But I paid bills over a week ago, so why so late? Clearly there was an issue with the online banking. I mean, I wouldn't schedule the payment to be an extra week late since I just don't make mistakes, really. The water company let me know that they are now accepting electronic payments from the banks, so my future payments should go through in a day or two. Yippieee! Welcome to 2005! They assured me that they would turn my water back on, but suggested I call before Friday to ensure that they payment was received.
Then the power went out. The rain had finally stopped, but the wind was pretty crazy. I wasn't sure if my neighbors lost power, because it wasn't dark yet. Plus, given the recent online banking snafu, I decided to call the power company to ensure that there weren't any payment issues there. The automated system logged my call, so I still wasn't sure of the source of trouble until a neighbor called. They had lost power as well, so I felt a little better knowing that I wasn't a complete deadbeat.
Buddy (the dog) used my distraction about the power (finding candles and flashlights while I could still see) to live up to the puppy rep by stealing things off the kitchen counter and chewing the kids toys. Over and over again. Finally I convinced the boys and their friends to play in the kitchen where they could keep an eye on Buddy while I played with Isabel.
The power came on, I started dinner and asked Alex to take Buddy outside to play. For some reason the dog was very agitated and I figured some running around the yard would help. I was in the middle of cleaning chicken breasts for dinner and assuring Devin that he did not need to throw away his chewed on toys while talking to Andy on the phone when Alex came to the door to tell me that Buddy was exceptionally muddy. He was telling me that Buddy stepped on his shoes and got him all dirty when Buddy burst through the door and went skidding and slipping all over the hardwoods. I started yelling and chasing him (knife in one hand, juice from a raw chicken dripping from the other). The more I yelled and chased the more he ran. Finally I trapped him in the bathroom and dragged him outside. Alex was in tears. The other kids were in shock. I was losing my mind.
Everyone went to their rooms while I finished dinner. Then the boys went outside to hose down Buddy, take him for a walk and dry him while I mopped the entire first floor. Then Izzy and I started in on the carpets. Devin fed the dog, Alex set the table and I poured a very large glass of wine as we sat down to dinner. Maybe it was two glasses. I earned it.

PS - for the record, the knife in my hand was intended for the raw chicken, not the dog.

The big race!

2011-10-10T07:07:00.000-05:00

It's official. I am a triathlete again. I competed in my first triathlon in 1999 with a very basic training plan, a mountain bike and a desire to do something new. Over the course of the last twelve years I have competed in two or three triathlons during some summers, and have taken long, long breaks while pregnant or nursing my three children (somehow the "milk shake" during the run was a huge deterrence for me. Go figure.).
Last summer I decided not to 'tri' but to just focus on running. I wasn't that motivated for triathlons, and Andy wanted to 'tri'. We both thought it would be difficult for the two of us to train while caring for three little kids.
This summer we decided to figure out the training; we were incredibly organized with our time and we even occasionally paid babysitters so we could train. And train we did. We also each did a sprint or two in anticipation of our Olympic distance triathlon at Myrtle Beach last weekend. It worked. Our schedule was crazy at times, but we both felt well prepared for our race, and it showed.
Andy had a great showing in his first Olympic distance triathlon. He felt good in the water, he rocked the bike and he held tough in the run (when the day was heating up). He felt good, he looked great and he finished without walking at all!
For me, the last Olympic distance triathlon was nine years and three babies ago. That race was a longer swim, a shorter ride and in the mountains. I finished in 3 hours and ten minutes. The Myrtle Beach race was a shorter swim (unfortunate for me), a longer bike (also unfortunate for me) and a flat course with crazy head winds. I wasn't sure what to expect for a finishing time, but I set a goal of finishing in 3 hours. The swim was good. The bike was hard. The best part of the ride was the fact that I rode with Andy on and off for about ten miles before he left me in the dust. It just took a lot out of me. The run was decent. I struggled with the first few miles, but about half way through I found my legs to finish strong. I crossed the finish line at 2:58:26 and I was thrilled!!!

friends

2011-09-20T13:59:00.001-05:00

It is interesting to see how the relationships between my children are evolving. Two years ago we referred to Alex as the disciple, since he was the unquestioning follower of Devin (who in Alex's mind might as well have been Jesus Christ). Now Alex still loves to play with Devin, but he no longer views his brother as infallible. Alex is all about the good time and is willing to play with anyone who is having fun.
When Isabel joined in the reindeer games, Alex played with her like she was a peer. I remember him saying to her (when she was a mere 15 months old), "Ok, first you have a turn and then I'll have a turn. Got it?". I am confident that she did not 'get it', but their friendship has continued to grow. Alex plays video games and sports with Devin, and does more imaginary play with Izzy. Devin is truly Isabel's 'big brother'; he reads her books and fills her milk cup and helps her when she needs it. Alex is her playmate. So when this came home from preschool yesterday I almost melted.

I showed it to Alex and he absolutely beamed. Then he went over to Izzy and gave her a huge hug, and said "Thank you Izzy!". That time I did melt.

the eye of the beholder

2011-09-09T20:21:00.009-05:00

My mama told me when I was young

We are all born superstars

She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on

In the glass of her boudoir

"There's nothin wrong with lovin who you are"

She said, "'cause he made you perfect, babe"

"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,

Listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way

'Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track baby

I was born this way

(Lady Gaga)

It started with the blue eyes. "I want beautiful blueberry eyes like you Mommy." Then it was the yellow hair. "Why does Devin get yellow hair? He's a boy." Then Izzy decided that she could ask Santa to bring her yellow hair and blue eyes. Of course I tell her that she is beautiful. I mean, just look at her! I think she's gorgeous. When I ask her how she got to be so cute, Izzy says,"It's the way God made me." Yep, she was born this way...

Puppy Love

2011-08-31T16:12:00.002-05:00

I mean seriously, how could you not love this little face?

After a good deal of research and a few dog sitting escapades, we are in the process of adopting a Goldendoodle (part Golden Retriever, part Poodle). These dogs are good for allergies and they don't shed (wooohooo!!!!). We have been looking to rescue a younger, hopefully well-trained dog, but found a puppy instead. The people who tell you that having a puppy is like having a baby don't lie, and house training is not my favorite part of dog ownership. And my already hectic schedule is a little more insane because I have to factor in trips to the house to let the dog out...but he sure is sweet and he sure is cute and the kids are in love. So welcome Buddy. We hope to make you ours.

Here he comes!

2011-08-24T20:45:00.000-05:00

Alex is a smart kid. We have known that for ages, but a psychologist confirmed that for us a year and a half ago when he was IQ tested. So I wasn't phased when he was reading the "Rising Second Grade" books this summer... before starting first grade. I was pretty impressed when he picked up a math sheet a couple weeks ago and knocked out the double digit addition (without carrying... but still!). Then last night he amazed me. As a stall tactic at bedtime, Alex asks us to give him math problems. I decided to challenge him a bit, and I gave him this one.
"I have fifteen jelly beans and I want to give them to you, Devin and Isabel. How many do I give to each of you so that it's fair and you have the same amount." Alex was quiet for about ten or fifteen seconds, and then he said, "Five each". So he's doing division. in his head. and he's six.

Have fun in first grade tomorrow, little man!!

pictures from Chicago

2011-08-21T19:06:00.001-05:00

We had a wonderful visit with the family in Chicago. Here are some of my favorite pictures from the trip.

Hennessy family picture with my cousin Donna!

A favorite among the cousins is climbing Grandma and Grandpa's tree.

Nothing more fun than a bucket of water.

Kindred spirits - Kaley and Izzy.

the Outlaws

Ryan is such a goofball. No wonder Devin and Alex idolize him!

The littlest cousins playing in the pool!

Yes, they are sitting on the roof.

Leger's and Blake's at the Arboretum

I believe I can fly...

This one just made me laugh - sooooo Alex!

We had such a great visit! I forgot to bring my camera, so all these pictures are courtesy of my sister, Eileen. Maybe if Aunt Jo sends me pictures of the Cubs game, I can post some of them too (hint, hint!).

The darnedest things

2011-08-15T21:15:00.001-05:00

Sometimes kids really do say the most amazing things, and Devin is no exception. Here are some from the last couple weeks:
- The morning after the last of our trips this summer (where we were out of town all but a week and a half in a calendar month), Devin said to Alex, "Wasn't it great sleeping in your own bed last night?"
- We were talking about the kids going back to school, and upon learning that Isabel would be going to preschool, Devin said to me, "Mom, you're finally going to get some time to yourself!"
- I was getting ready to go out with Andy and I walked into the hallway where Devin said, "Wow!" I asked him if I startled him, and he said, "No. It's just, you look pretty. I haven't seen that dress before."

I think I'm in love.

Tri Training Again

2011-08-12T20:59:00.000-05:00

I don't think I ever posted a follow-up to this post a couple months ago when I was lamenting my too tight pants and considering triathlon training. Again. After some hesitation and a "trial period" where we took on the juggling act of fitting triathlon training into our already busy lives, Andy and I decided to go for it. We are in. We are training for an Olympic distance triathlon in October. What this means is that we don't sleep. Sincerely. I mean, how else are we going to fit in the 6-10 hours per week that we spend training. But it's good. Without triathlon training I wouldn't push myself to run after a spin class or to get up before the sun to get my mileage in before the kids get up. It's really not in my nature. I am enjoying the challenge though. I am pushing myself in a way that I haven't in a long time.

Plus, Andy found me a sweet new tri bike.

While I was a little hesitant to spend the money, he convinced me that the twelve year old bike that I was tooling around on was ready to retire. I love it!! Andy has warned me though that if I beat him on the bike leg of our race he's going to sell the bike.

Beachtime with Friends

2011-07-25T16:02:00.000-05:00

And the fun continues...

Rock Climbing

On the big cannon at Ft. Moultrie

Looking for fish

the skim board fanatics

my little love

surfer girls

my goofballs

Kid Pyramid

Summer Part II

2011-07-23T15:16:00.001-05:00

You may have guessed from my previous post but the first part of our summer was all about swim team. With five practices (per child) and two meets each week, how could it not be all about swim team, right? And it was great. We spent lots of time with our friends (er... at least the ones on swim team) and everyone had a great season. Now we are in Part II of our summer, which is all about travel. From July 9th to August 8th, the kids and I will spend a total of 9 days at home (today included). Here are some pictures from our trips thus far...

Good Morning Monkeys!

Sweet Alex

Sassy Girl

"Look Mom!"

Best Buds

Silly kids eating ice cream on the beach...

Rock star!!

The sign says it all...

2011-07-11T07:24:00.001-05:00

Life really is good at the beach.

Swim Season

2011-06-30T15:41:00.000-05:00

The 2011 Summer swim season came to a close last night. To say that I am sad about this would be a lie. It was a great season, but swim team is very time intensive. We practiced for a hour (thirty minutes per child) five days per week and attended two swim meets each week where the family would sweat it out poolside for a minimum of three hours and the boyswould swim for a total of under five minutes. Swim team is fun though. Swim meets are fun. We see our friends in the neighborhood, the kids see their friends and they get some exercise too. Alex had a great first year. He improved his swim time by twelve seconds, won a couple ribbons and learned a passable back stroke and breast stroke (except when he cheats by swimming under water to win his heat). Devin had a harder year because he was at the bottom of his age group and didn't get as many ribbons as last year. He did well though. He learned butterfly and finally mastered a legal breast stroke kick!! All told I am very proud of my swimmer boys and hope that they continue with swim team for many many more years.

Alex before his first race ever!

Alex's dive.

Alex's first ribbon ever!!

Alex hugging the lane line in back stroke

Devin catching his breath after his first race of the season

Devin's back stroke

Devin's awesome start!

My boys

This is what Izzy looked forward to at every swim meet.

the pants don't lie

2011-06-20T13:45:00.001-05:00

All these months of fun trips and birthday cakes are starting to take a toll. I have been aware of this and sort of half trying to get my sweet tooth (and wine/beer tooth? do we have such things? I think I do...) under control. I started running again after about a month off (remember the back strain) and working out more. But then I went in for a check up with my doctor. According to their scale I weighed three pounds more than my scale at home. So instead of 5-6 pounds over my preferred weight, I am actually looking at 8-9 pounds. After I got over the "oh shit" moment, I realized that I need to find my motivation. I have been running again, but not really loving it. I have been back on the bike, and in the pool, but I am hesitant to commit to triathlon training because it is so hard to fit in all three sports multiple times per week with an active family with three kids and a husband who is also training.
I got confirmation on my scale after Devin's eight-year-old check up last week. Three pounds light. Meaning I have ten pounds to lose. I don't know why this surprised me. Probably because I have been wearing all the summer skirts and dresses lately. I tried to wear a pair of pants out the other day (emphasis on "tried"... but failed miserably), and realized that I need to wear pants more during the "beer and ice cream" season of the year. Just to keep myself on track. We all know that the jeans don't lie when the jeans don't fit.

Happy Birthday Devin!!

2011-06-15T13:45:00.001-05:00

This has been quite a year for Devin. He had huge accomplishments like losing his front teeth, First Communion and making a club soccer team He had disappointments like breaking his arm and watching friends move away. He has grown so much (and I'm not just talking about the 3.5 inches and 8 pounds since last June). I am really enjoying the little man he is turning into, and he makes me so proud.

Happy 8th Birthday Devin!!

First Communion

Off the Blocks

The end of the "All Sports" birthday party.

Happy Birthday Devin!!

First and Last

2011-06-10T18:33:00.001-05:00

This picture is from the morning before the first day of school. The boys are all excited and happy; clean, shiny and new... and they were very eager to have their picture taken.

first day of school

This picture is from after the last day of school. Both boys are tired from a late swim meet last night. Devin is sweaty from a dodge ball tournament and Alex is literally dripping wet from a water fight with friends after school. Both boys were annoyed at the idea of taking a picture, and finally cooperated when threatened with the prospect of taking pictures all afternoon until I could get one where they were both smiling.

last day of school

No doubt that they are excited that school is done. We all are.

three-year-old logic

2011-05-29T18:18:00.001-05:00

Andy to Isabel: "Why?"
Isabel: "Because."
Andy: "Because why?"
Isabel: "Because why."

And so it goes...

Viva la Roma

2011-05-19T06:45:00.000-05:00

Six days
Five nights
One husband
Zero kids
One trip to Rome. Is there a better way to celebrate Ten Years?

Statue on top of the Vatican

Meaghan's Cappucino

Stained Glass at St. Peter's Basilica

Hallway ceiling in Vatican

Ecclesiastical "Reservoir Dogs" Scene in St. Peter's Square

Mother and Child pictures were mounted on random street corners.

Flor - the best gelati in Roma.

Typical street in Roma

At Trevi Fountain

Pope Benedict XVI

At Spanish Steps

Fountain in Piazza Novena

At the Colosseum

I love you Andy Blake.

It's a girl thing

2011-04-27T22:12:00.000-05:00

We have all heard the opinions about nature vs. nurture when it comes to raising children, and at one point I felt like my life was a test case for gender stereotypes. When Isabel was about 18 months old she tired of "mommying" the boys stuffed animals, she found the one doll in the house (one from my childhood) and began carrying it around. I realized that even though she was surrounded by trains and trucks and balls, this little girl needed some different toys. We didn't have "girl" toys, but once we got a few dolls, a stroller and a kitchen, she was ecstatic.
Now our lives are filled with princesses and pink. Isabel refuses to wear pants and prefers to go out in either her pink rain boots or her red patent Mary Jane's (which she calls her "tapping shoes") at all times. By nap time most days she changes into a leotard and tutu and she insists that she doesn't like any boys (which Andy is thrilled about!). She will happily play by herself with her dollhouse, feeding and bathing her babies and doggies.
I didn't realize how extreme her "girlie" persuasion was until our neighborhood Easter Egg hunt. Here are the Easter eggs that Izzy collected:

The only eggs in the bunch that are not pink are the ones with Dora on them. I can guarantee that I do encourage colors other than pink in her life, even though I am more than happy to dress her in skirts and dresses. I can also guarantee that she probably knocked over a few other little girls going for the Dora eggs, after all she has two big brothers.

When the Easter Bunny came, Izzy did it again.

This time I know that her brothers were leaving the pink eggs for her or even finding pink eggs and giving them to her. I'm not sure how long the pink and girlie phase of her life will last. I don't have answers on the nature versus nurture, but I do know that my little girl has some very specific preferences about her toys and her clothes and she is not following in her brother's footsteps at all.

Happy Birthday Alex!

2011-04-20T21:52:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday Alex!! I cannot believe my little man is six. Ever since he was a toddler, Alex's life was just one big party and that hasn't changed a bit. Whether's he's rockin' out to Pearl Jam (or Kid Rock or Creed or his latest favorite "Second Chance" by Shinedown) or playing soccer or having a Nerf gun war in the back yard, Alex is all about having fun.

Right of Passage

2011-04-10T20:24:00.005-05:00

Devin took a spill while flying down a hill on his scooter. I had my back to him when I heard the screaming and crying, and I expected blood; lots and lots of blood. But alas, there was a little road rash on his leg, but otherwise no blood. But there was lots of arm pain. We put some ice on it and he certainly cried more than his usual injury, but it wasn't until his teeth started chattering that I decided an ER visit was in order. At triage the doctor started talking about a broken wrist. Then the x-ray, and you didn't need to be a radiologist to confirm it. The verdict: hairline fracture of the ulna and fracture with angulation of the radius (think of when you try to break a stick and it half breaks and bends - that was his bone). Which meant that we needed to go to an orthopedic doctor to get the bone set (straightened) and casted.

I think it's a right of passage for little boys to break a bone, especially little boys who love to play sports. Now if I could keep him off the top of the monkey bars...

Cooper

2011-04-05T20:23:00.002-05:00

Last weekend was the Cooper River Bridge Run in Charleston. For those of you not in the know, Cooper is a very popular (40,000 people) 10k run over the very cool suspension bridge (the Ravenel Bridge) that links Mount Pleasant to Charleston . For me, the Cooper weekend is a girls weekend away with my friends. It is a time of bonding, drinking, shopping, oh and there is a race too.
The Monday before Cooper I tweaked my back. I'm not sure how this happened, but I think it had something to do with the double digit mile run I did on Sunday, plus my lack of stretching. My body just doesn't bounce back like it used to (or I didn't challenge it as much when I was younger...). So Monday afternoon I am walking like a geriatric person when I finally call a chiropractor. I made three trips to the chiro and completely stopped working out, picking up Isabel, bending down for things (as much as I could) and iced my back three of four times per day, all in an effort to salvage my girls weekend.
And it worked! I ran the race without walking. Granted, I ran it three and a half minutes slower than last year, but I ran it! Plus I was able to fully partake in the other weekend activities and festivities... but we won't mention those here...

Boys will be Boys

2011-04-01T12:00:00.001-05:00

The other night when I went in to kiss Alex goodnight he said to me, "I counted to 101 by skipping the fives." I asked him how he did that and he said, "I went 1,2,3,4,6,7,8,9,11,12,13,14,16,17,18,19,21..." Pretty impressive for a Kindergartner, I thought.
Later as I was putting Devin to bed he told me he had a new trick, and said, "Mom, pull my finger."

Aaaw, my babies are growing up.

Suggestive

2011-03-26T13:06:00.002-05:00

A note came home from school yesterday that Alex got in trouble at lunch time for getting out of his chair and dancing. I accept and understand that. You aren’t in the lunch room to dance, you are there to eat. But the note went on to say that his dancing was very “suggestive”. Really?!?! Suggestive of what? Suggestive of the fact that he could use a few dance lessons?

Alex is five years old. Clearly you don’t mean “suggestive” in a risqué, burlesque sort of way. After all, for a dance to be “suggestive”, doesn’t the dancer need to know something about what it is that they are in fact suggesting? I’m half tempted to go to school and ask the lunch monitor what she is suggesting about my five year old. I know that Alex is a ladies’ man and has been kissed by a few girls in kindergarten. Really, do we need to see everything that these kids do through our sanctimonious, politically correct lenses?

I know the dance that Alex did in the lunchroom. I have seen it. He holds his hands out a little bit to the sides and rocks his hips like he’s doing the hula hoop. Maybe it would be suggestive if he grabbed one of those little tarts who kissed him and pulled her in close while dancing, but he didn’t. Maybe he should save that for first grade. We don’t want them to grow up too fast.

I’m just glad he didn’t slap his ass while he was dancing so suggestively in the lunch room. See, he has also done the ass-slap at home and I told him to stop because it wasn’t nice. We have some standards, after all.

Happy Birthday Isabel!!

2011-03-24T12:45:00.001-05:00

Happy third birthday to my sweet baby girl. I love you!!

Someone loves the attention of her birthday!

Lost in thought

Paging Dr. Izzy

"Doctoring" her puppy

not enough

2011-03-17T22:08:00.000-05:00

I have learned that there is not enough yoga in the world, not enough miles in the sneakers, not enough coffee in the day, not enough wine in the evenings, not enough (insert special "me time" activity or addiction here) to ever, ever replace the balance and pseudo-calm that exists when there are two parents present in my house.

Nightmare

2011-03-15T13:51:00.001-05:00

Izzy had her first real nightmare last night. She has had "bad dreams" before, but usually she doesn't wake up and a little cuddling settles her right back down. Her nightmare must have happened around six am, because I was in the bathroom getting dressed when she came in wild-eyed and speaking gibberish. I don't know if it sounded like gibberish because I was barely functioning yet, or because she was truly speaking gibberish. I truly could not make out anything that she was saying; I only knew she was scared. I cuddled her and settled her down and she started asking about the man with the black hat with pink string (on the hat) and the pink lips who was in her room.
I told her Mommy wouldn't let anyone hurt her and it was just a yucky dream. That led her to ask if the angels made the man come (at night I tell her to listen to the angels and that the angels protect her from yucky dreams). I told her it was pretend, like when she pretends to be a dog, and she told me she wasn't being a dog. I told her that the bad man wasn't in her room, and she asked me who made him leave. Needless to say, explaining dreams to an almost three-year-old is a challenge.
At breakfast she told the boys about the dream (with the bad man with the black hat with the pink string on it and the pink lips) and they gave her all the reassurances that I did, but she was still a little uncertain. Then I told her that her brothers wouldn't let anything bad happen to her, and she said that Devie and Alex would stomp on the bad man (complete with a demonstration as she stomped her foot on the floor).
At nap time she didn't want to go to sleep "until Devie and Alex get home" so the bad man wouldn't get her. So she and I went around and locked all the doors to the house and checked all the bedrooms upstairs to make sure that she and I were the only ones here and no one could get it to get Izzy. It worked (well that plus her exhaustion from her early morning), and I love the fact that she wanted her big brothers here to protect her.

Advice from the Mother of Boys

2011-02-09T08:58:00.001-05:00

When you see the sales at Target for sweat pants, warm-ups and etc for $5.00, buy multiples in current and future sizes. The rate in which your boys will destroy their pants, once they discover the joys of football, baseball, soccer, dodge ball, kickball, etc, is truly mind-blowing. The same goes for gym shoes, although those are more difficult to purchase in advance. Trust me, I've tried.

Yoga: it's not for the weak.

2011-02-07T13:01:00.002-05:00

I have taken yoga on and off for fifteen years, but I was never very into it. I was always pretty decent at doing poses because I am very flexible and reasonably strong, but I never left class feeling like I had a tough workout. I wasn't consistent in practicing yoga until last fall. Because of my hip issues and running, I decided to try a yoga class at the Y. Lucky for me, there was a Monday morning power yoga class being offered, which was a perfect recovery from a long run over the weekend. I started going a few times a month and found that this class made me work hard. The teacher did a great job of demonstrating poses and giving lots of options to advance your poses. Before long I was doing things like Bird of Paradise (although I am still working on raising my leg that high). What this picture fails to show you is that her hands are clasped behind her hip. Impressive.

Bird of Paradise Pose

All the while, I felt like I was really loosening up my joints and getting great stretches after these long runs. Next I mastered Scales pose (or Swing pose - although I have to do it on blocks because I don't quite have the ab strength of this fine young man. =) Give me time.).

Scales/Swing Pose

But today was something truly remarkable. I have tried Crow pose for a months, but could never manage to balance. A few weeks ago I did it for about three seconds. Today I held Crow for more than twenty seconds three different times.

Crow Pose

I cannot tell you how excited I am to see the progress that I am making in yoga. Unlike my previous perception, now I can see how yoga really can be a tough workout. I leave the class sweaty and fatigued, and today, a little bit proud.

My amazing pizza

2011-02-04T13:01:00.000-05:00

We all know that Andy is the chef in the family. The fact that I am a decent cook pales in comparison to the culinary skills wielded by my other half. However today I made the most amazing (and healthy) pizza for lunch. At lunchtime I am usually one to heat up leftovers or a can of soup because I just want to eat quickly and go, but today I actually looked around a decided to be a bit creative.
I found a flat bread that we had not used for curry last night and topped that with some pesto (a new constant in our fridge). Then I stole some cherry tomatoes from Isabel and cut them into small pieces. I guess regular tomatoes could have worked, but the cherry ones are a little sweeter and I like them. Next I found some fresh mozarella that we had and almost shaved it (as best you can with such a soft cheese) randomly on the flatbread. I toasted the whole thing in our toaster oven and topped it all with a generous postion of arugula. The sweet of the tomato and the basil/garlic of the pesto and the peppery arugula... it was heavenly.
I should have taken a picture to post.. It was that good!

One can dream...

2011-01-27T20:05:00.001-05:00

We all have those moments that catch us off-guard; when we look in the mirror and don't quite grasp what we are seeing. For some it's the grey hair, for others the bulges in places previously firm. For me, it's the fine (and sometime more substantial) lines in my skin. I understand it. I spent years in the sun between swimming and life guarding and sunscreen was something we only used in the first month of summer. I admit to being a sun worshipper, and even donned the baby oil to ensure that I browned up nicely on vacation and in the summertime. I even worked at a tanning salon one winter, where the owners would actually advise me to use the tanning booths more, because I wasn't tan enough to be a good advertisement for them. I have earned this skin, but it still surprises me.
Then I remember, I am thirty-eight years old. By my previous standards, I am pretty damn old. I remember people older and wiser than I talking about this phenomenon; about not feeling as old as you are. I think that the fact that I am in far better physical shape than I was in my younger years only enhances the deception for me. In my twenties I was twenty or thirty pounds heavier than now. I was athletic but I also ate and drank with abandon. Now I pay closer attention to what I consume, and working out has become more than a passing hobby. I have achieved athletic pursuits in my thirties that I never thought possible in my twenties, and I feel great. I feel much younger than thirty-eight, but my skin does not lie.

I was putting make-up on in my bathroom one morning with Isabel by my side, and again I noticed her gorgeous skin. Isabel's skin is smooth and olive toned and flawless. The only thirty-eight year-olds that I know who have skin like that are on billboards or in magazines, where women's skin resembles that of someone half their age. I don't think I ever had skin as pretty as these women, some of them much older than me. Did they miss out on the sun worshipping that was en vogue in 1988? Or have they had work done to turn back the hands of time?

I know that we women tend to be our greatest critics, and when I reflect on the changes I have made to my health and my body in the last fifteen years I am proud. But seriously. I just want my skin to look like Isabel's. Is that really too much to ask?

Mother of the Year

2011-01-20T16:39:00.023-05:00

My friends and I joke about the different actions or occurrences that inevitably will take us out of the running for the elusive "Mother of the Year" award. I had my first one last night, when I forgot to put Devin to bed.
In my defense, it was a really busy day where I was going non-stop from the moment I dropped the boys off at school in the morning. I had a dentist appointment and two volunteer sessions at school, which were separated by a quick workout at the gym. Then after errands and picking the boys up at school (Izzy chose to nap in the car), I brought Alex to the hospital to have dinner with his classmate who is recovering there. We got home at 7:30 in time for bed. I put Alex down but let Devin stay up to read for a few minutes, which is our normal routine. I put Izzy to bed and went down to talk to Andy. Then I hopped online for the first time that day to catch up on things. Andy had a conference call at 9:00 and I went up shortly thereafter to get ready to bed. I was cuddled up in my jammies and half way through an episode of "Desperate Housewives" when Devin came in. At first I was really confused... he did not appear to have a bloody nose and he wasn't vomiting, so why wasn't he sleeping? Then he said indignantly, "Mom, you forgot to put me to bed!".
It was 9:45pm, and I put myself to bed before my seven-year-old.

efficient

2011-01-18T20:10:00.000-05:00

My text to Andy at 11:54am:
"So far I have been to the gas station, library, gym to drop Izzy off, wax, coffee, three stores, post office, restaurant and now I'm back to the gym to work out before getting Izzy."

For the record, I left the house at 9:30am.

words of wisdom

2011-01-04T08:49:00.002-05:00

As I was making breakfast this morning...

Isabel: "The boy next to me put raisins in his nose and I said, 'Silly Buddy, don't put raisins in your nose, put them in your mouth!'"
Me (laughing): "Where did that happen?"
Isabel: "At the kids (meaning the child care at the gym). He didn't put any more in his nose."
Me: "Who was the boy?"
Isabel: "I don't know his name. He's the boy with raisins in his nose."

Another mother's moment to be proud.

la bruja

2011-01-03T20:50:00.003-05:00

Alex's classroom teacher told me that Alex saw the Spanish teacher in the hallway and called out "bruja" to her three times. For those of you uneducated by Dora the Explorer, "bruja" means "witch".
When I talked to Alex about this, I asked him if he knew what "bruja" meant and he hold me the correct answer. Then I asked him if he thought Sra. Maestra was a witch. He looked at me like I was crazy and said "no". Then I asked him if he thought that Sra. Maestra liked being called a witch, and the lightbulb seemed to go on. He said "no". He likes Sra. Maestra and did not like the idea that he might have hurt her feelings or made her mad. I don't know Sra. Maestra well, so I really have no gauge for her perspective. I don't know if she thinks that my five year old was showing off his recently acquired Spanish vocabulary, or if she thinks that he was intentionally calling her a witch.
The newest Spanish that Alex has added to his growing vocabulary is "Lo siento". I have a feeling that he will use that well throughout his life time.
...er, at least as well as "bruja".

Uno

2011-01-02T20:50:00.001-05:00

During our at-home New Years celebration, we introduced the kids to the card game Uno. We wanted to do a family game night that did not include electronics, but was interesting, fun and simple enough for all to enjoy. The game Uno fit the bill and we had a grand time. The boys loved it. Isabel humored us by playing with the cards and sitting in Andy's lap, but clearly she has some growing to do before this kind of game holds her interest. Alex was a big winner that night, and Andy and I each managed to win a game, but Devin was not so lucky. The next night the boys and I played again (at their request/insistence) and Alex was again a big winner. I also managed to win a couple games, at which time Alex would whine or even cry, but Devin was again unlucky.
But Devin didn't cry. He didn't win, and he didn't cry or whine. Devin was clearly unhappy, but for the first time that I can recall he lost well. Devin is the most competitive child I know and he's a little quick to tears, so frequently any kind of loss for him is followed by crying. But two nights in a row he lost game after game without tears. This is huge for him. I told Devin that I was proud of him for being a good sport and for handling his loss so well. It's only a silly card game with his family, but I am seriously proud of him.
This is just one example of many that demonstrates to me that my little Devin really is starting to become a big kid.

Happy Holidays

2010-12-30T20:19:00.001-05:00

Our holidays included an early visit from Santa...

... and a trip to Chicago to celebrate Christmas with the family.

It truly was the most wonderful time of the year.

7:00am conversation

2010-12-20T15:00:00.001-05:00

(...scene opens with Meaghan wiping a toddler's bum while Andy dresses near the sink...)

Andy: "Are you going to wash whites anytime soon?"
Me: "They are in the dryer, if you want to fold them."
Andy: "No thanks."

(...Andy exits...)

I guess sometimes my perfect husband who totally spoils me can be a "stereotypical guy" just like the rest of them...

Thunder Road again

2010-12-13T08:47:00.001-05:00

I ran the Thunder Road half marathon again this year. It was my third half marathon, and my second foray into the crazy hilly race that is Thunder Road. But this was also a huge departure for me in terms of race preparation. Typically the anal/neurotic part of me takes over when it comes to race prep, and I follow a specific training plan, log every workout and pay close attention to my pace, heart rate and recovery. This time I just ran. I still ran three times per week and I still did speed work, tempo runs and long runs, but I followed no plan. I did most of my long runs with friends and just went the distance and pace that they wanted to go (except at the end, when I reserved the right to push it...). Most of my tempo runs were driven by the amount of time I had to run before I had to do something else, and I typically made up my speed work runs while on the treadmill. In my mind, this was the non-committal race. I signed up, but I had not committed myself to racing.
To be honest, it is really hard to focus on training during the holidays. While that is the time that we all need a lot of incentive to ensure that we make it to the gym... it's also a time when there is so much going on that training has to take a back seat. A few days before the race it dawned on me that I was running a half marathon shortly, and I frankly was not excited. I didn't really want to do it. I was getting a cold, and I felt lousy. It was a really busy time with the kids and Andy's work (so he wasn't home much) and I was just not into it. Plus, last year I ran with a friend for the entire race, and saw a bunch of other friends before, after and along the way. This year I was running alone.
I ran Thunder Road at 2:09:49 last year, and Virginia Beach at 2:04:05 over Labor day. Thunder Road is a much hillier course, so I thought I would go slower than VA Beach, but faster than last year. I set my goal at 2:06 for the race. The morning was cold, but warmer than last year and I felt good running. Except on the hills; I cursed myself for not running more hills during training at least ten times during the race. But I felt really good, and when I crossed the 10k clock at 57 minutes, I knew I was on pace to hit 2:04 again. 2:04 at Thunder Road - the crazy hilly course! I decided to try to keep my pace up so I could make it, and at every mile I checked my pace to see if I was still well under ten minute miles. It was hard. The hills were hard. When I hit the water station at mile eleven, going uphill again, I walked for a few seconds while I downed the water. But overall my pace was great. I knew I was going to beat my time for VA Beach. I hit mile twelve, where I would typically start to pick up my pace, but I had nothing. Mile 12.5 and I still could not move any faster. I managed to push the legs a little faster when I finally saw the 'finish' banner and crossed at 2:03:03. My fastest 13.1 mile race yet.

2:03:03!!

my three babies

2010-12-05T21:02:00.001-05:00

Tonight I was singing to Alex before he went to bed, and I sang this song to him, which I used to sing to him quite a lot when he was a baby. It's really rather melancholy, but despite my joy at welcoming Alex, much of his infancy was desperately sad. Brianna died when Alex was five weeks old. I remember being up with him at night with him and the tears would slip down onto him while he nursed.
But to me this song is also about the unconditional love of a mother for her children.

three babies
each of these
my three babies
I will carry with me
for myself
I ask no one else will be
mother to these three
and of course
I'm like a wild horse
but there's no other way I could be
water + feed
are not tools that I need
for the thing that I've chosen to be

in my soul
my blood + my bones
I have wrapped your cold bodies around me
the face on you
the smell of you
will always be with me

each of these
my three babies
I was not willing to leave
though I tried
I blasphemed + denied
I know they will be returned to me

each of these
my babies
have brought you closer to me
no longer mad like a horse
I'm still wild but not lost
from the thing that I've chosen to be
and it's 'cos you've thrilled me
silenced me
stilled me
proved things I never believed
the face on you
the smell of you
will always be with me.

-Sinéad O'Connor

christmas card 2010

2010-12-03T22:30:00.003-05:00

Snow Kiss Green Christmas

Shop Shutterfly.com for elegant Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Getting three little kids to sit still, look at the camera and smile for a Christmas card picture is nearly impossible. Here's to a little laughter along the way...

Naughty List

2010-11-13T21:32:00.002-05:00

Devin is preparing for his first reconciliation at church. This is a big deal, since it is really the first sacrament in which he is a cognizant and willing participant. Since he goes to a Catholic school, most of his preparation for reconciliation (or confession, for those non-Catholics) is done at school. We did some work at home, and I wasn't sure how much he was really understood and reflected on this until we were on our way to the reconciliation retreat. We were in the car on the way there when Devin suddenly told me that he thinks I'm not on the Naughty List. After I nearly spit coffee through my nose, I asked him why he thought that I wasn't on the Naughty List. He said because I do lots of things for other people and I never bully anyone (side note: thanks for noticing Dev!). Then I asked him if he thought he was on the Naughty List, and he said in a soft and serious voice, "I don't know."

It is quite timely that these little kids start learning about examining their consciences and admitting their sins right around the time that they are thinking about presents and Santa and Naughty Lists. I remember being terrified at my first confession (and my second, and my third and my...) that the priest would think I was such a bad person for the things I did. I had the usual things to report; fought with my siblings, disobeyed my parents, told a lie. But I hated (er.. hate) to admit when I did something wrong and it just seemed so painful to bring it up again. Then when we were in line for confession if another kid took a longer time talking to the priest, we would all think s/he was soooo bad. I always hoped for short little conversations and never wanted to go face to face with a priest when admitting all my naughtiness.

Devin asked me what it's like going to confession, and I told him that I was always a little nervous beforehand (huge understatement), but that I always felt better after. I also told him that I'm pretty sure he won't make the Naughty List either.

stressed about school? I don't even go to school...

2010-11-12T17:49:00.000-05:00

I admit it: I was really pretty stressed out at the prospect of parent-teacher conferences. To be specific, I was worried about our Kindergarten conference. Our second grade conference for Devin was not concerning to me because the teacher and I have had some good conversations this year. I am comfortable with her and I know that Devin is doing well. He certainly has some areas for improvement, but overall he's great.
However, the prospect of Alex's conference had me anxious. There were a number of things to cover; both behavioral and academic. Plus, my interaction with Alex's teacher has been more limited. Most of our communication was through notes, while our face-to-face conversations were brief and at times abrupt. Then I thought, "Was she short because of limited time or was she angry with something? Does she not like my child? Is she mean?". Going into this conference, I felt much less comfortable. In my defense, Alex has given me reason to be nervous. His report card had a few more "Needs Improvement" marks in the behavior section than I had expected. He can be the most thoughtful and courteous boy, and he can also be insolent and willful. Alex's behavior reminds me of the nursery rhyme:

There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead;

When she was good, she was very, very good,

And when she was bad she was horrid.

Plus, based on the school work coming home, I knew that Alex was not being challenged academically in school. We chose to send him to this school rather than to the gifted academy in part because we wanted him to have a well-rounded experience and that certainly includes learning how to follow rules and respectfully function and socialize in a class of twenty-five of his peers. I knew that he would not be challenged initially because of the focus on rules and the adjustment to Kindergarten, but I was not confident that his teacher really knew the extent of his capabilities. Heck, I'm not sure that I know the extent of his capabilities, but I know that a kid who can read number like 2051 correctly and who can do basic addition and subtraction in his head may not find worksheets where you connect the dots from the numbers one to five to be interesting work. So I was pretty tense about the conference.

But the meeting was good. One of the first things that she told us was that overall he has improved significantly since the report card was written and that she is proud of him. She said that he is behaving well in class and that he struggles more with unstructured times like when they are at recess or are walking to another building for an activity. She absolutely raved about his school work and said that he was doing really great. I left the conference feeling that Alex's teacher understands and likes Alex, and that Alex is making huge improvements in 'softer skills' where he needed to grow. But I am still not sure that he is being challenged, and this is where I struggle. Is it enough that he is happy going to school and he's growing socially even though he's not working to his academic potential? Should we even be concerned about how much he's really being challenged since this is just Kindergarten?
There was a day recently when Alex had his name read during the school announcements. It was "Thankful Thursday" and Alex's teacher said that she was thankful for Alex because he really helped her clean up the classroom. He was so thrilled that later he told us it was the best day of his life. Of His Life.
Maybe we should just sit back and let Alex and his teacher continue down this path. They seem to be doing well so far...

mmmm.... cinnamon bread

2010-11-09T20:29:00.001-05:00

After my speed work run today (half mile sprints in under four minutes followed by quarter mile easy jog), I was starving and I remembered that there is a really good bakery nearby. I stopped by Great Harvest in search of a good chicken salad sandwich on some grainy bread. Man did they deliver. While there, I decided to pick up some bread for the family, and noticed that they had cinnamon chip bread that was fresh out of the oven. It smelled fabulous, so I picked some up. It was delicious. I heated some up for the boys after school and they scarfed it down and asked for more. No requests for butter either (which is a shock for Devin, really).

Then after dinner tonight Devin asks for the cinnamon bread for dessert. Forget the Halloween candy, he wants the bread. For dessert. I can't say that I blame him though. The whole kitchen smells amazing...

Happy Halloween!!!

2010-11-01T07:32:00.010-05:00

We had a great Halloween weekend! Between all the festivities at school, Halloween parties and six-year-old birthday parties, the Blake family managed to go to five parties in three days, play two soccer games, run 10 miles, cycle 14 miles, carve pumpkins and potty train. Yes, we can do it all... sometimes.

mind your manners

2010-10-28T06:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday all three kiddos were coloring at the kitchen table. Devin asked Alex for a brown crayon, and Alex said, "What do you say?". I had to laugh. I know that they mimic what they hear, but it still surprised me to hear my five-year-old demanding good manners from my seven-year-old.

the sneak

2010-10-17T21:44:00.004-05:00

In an email exchange with Devin's teacher, she mentioned that he is having trouble following directions and staying on task during the school day. She said that the kids are allowed to read when they complete their work, but that Devin is slow to put his books away and join what the rest of the class is doing, so he often starts lessons behind the rest of the kids. My first thought was that we were heading down the "occupational therapist" path to determine if there are attention, fine motor or sensory issues to consider. So I emailed her some questions. I asked her if Devin's behavior was impacting his school work; if she thought his behavior was "typical" for a second grade boy and if she had any suggestions as to how we can help him.

Last spring Devin's first grade teacher suggested that he be evaluated by an OT because he was always wiggly in his seat, because his handwriting was awful, because he was mouthing everything (his fingernails being the first choice...) and because he needed a lot of prompting and coaching to get started on his work. The OT suggested some things to work on over the summer and said that we should re-evaluate his progress in the fall. Since then his handwriting has improved and he stopped chewing his nails, so I thought he had matured and grown past some of his issues. Plus, I know he's reading at a third grade level and will often read for forty-five minutes in a single sitting. Clearly he can focus when he wants to.

I was volunteering in second grade last week, and Devin's teacher and I had an opportunity to chat about Devin. She said that she thinks his behavior is impacting his work at times because he starts assignments after everyone else and is rushing to complete his work with the rest of the kids. She also said that this behavior is typical for a kid Dev's age, but that he is doing it a lot more than most kids. For instance, there were a number of times when the class would be reviewing and correcting their work, and Devin would sit at his desk (in the front row) and be reading from a book in his lap or playing with the items on his desk.
Luckily his teacher and I are on the same page about leveraging extra therapies for potential attention issues (slow to get into the extra therapies), and we said that we would continue to talk to him about following directions and staying on task with the class while at school. I completely agree that he needs to participate in these activities and follow directions, and I am thrilled that his teacher realizes that he may get past this with our encouragement and his own maturity.

Leave it to my kid to get busted for sneaking a book in school.

triumphant at last

2010-10-12T14:02:00.001-05:00

Lately my runs have been mediocre at best. I have gone into them a little tired, a little pressed for time, even a little hungover... and I haven't been that happy or motivated. I think it was both a physical and a mental issue. My injury from the USMC Mud Run certainly played a part. At my ER visit they told me that I couldn't sweat "excessively" until the Dermabond came off my forehead, which meant no running for a couple weeks. A couple weeks doesn't seem like much, but it is long enough that I lost my groove... until yesterday.
After dropping the boys off at school I hit the trail (for the first time in ages) where I did most of my training for the VA Beach half marathon. The weather was cool and the sun was shining. And for the first time in a while, it felt really good to run. I set out for a six mile tempo run, thinking that if I wasn't moving fast enough I would cut it short. But I was moving just fine; faster than I expected even. At the 3 mile turn around I was surprised both at my time and at how low my heart rate still was... so I picked it up a bit and pushed myself to a nine minute/mile pace for the last three. Overall I did 6+ miles in 55 minutes and I felt awesome!!
I know that not every run is going to be great, but runs like yesterday are the reason we lace up those sneakers time and again.

lulluby

2010-10-04T19:32:00.000-05:00

Last night I was tired, so tired. So I climbed into Alex's bed and under the covers while the kids were getting ready for bed. Devin was in the shower and Alex was brushing his teeth. Alex saw me and went to tell Devin that I was sleeping in his bed (his voice indicated that he thought this was really cool). Then he came in, pulled the covers up over my arms and began to sing to me.

lulluby and good night
go to sleep my little mommy
la la la la, la la la
go to sleep my lovie mom

Does it get any better than that?

Motherhood

2010-09-21T20:06:00.002-05:00

I came across this video and just had to share it.

I don't know that this would have meant that much to me before I had kids. The advice sounds good and all... but until you are facing some of the challenges that motherhood brings, it's all just rhetoric.
The truth is that there are times when being a mom is terrifying. There are times when you feel like you are in over your head and there are times when all you can do is worry. There are times when you doubt yourself and your decisions. There are times when you blame yourself for things that don't go right and there are times when you make mistakes.
Let's face it, there is a lot at stake. We are raising people. As parents, we are trying our best to keep them safe and healthy, but we are also trying to teach them to be kind, thoughtful and responsible people.
The demands of motherhood are many; sleep deprivation, little time for yourself, endless demands on your patience, constant re-negotiation of rules and boundaries as children grow. But I think the greatest challenge comes is influencing the character of your children and in trying to help them learn to be good people.

deeee-licious!

2010-09-13T11:58:00.001-05:00

Izzy is so much fun right now. She talks constantly and she sings constantly and bosses everyone around. She's just hysterical. Most days she changes into a princess costume (or tutu, or cheerleader outfit) by lunchtime and insists on wearing it for the rest of the day. If anyone makes an unusual noise, like a sneeze or a burp or a hiccup, she will ask them if they are OK. Andy when Andy said his knee hurt the other day she tried to put a band-aid on him. Yesterday we visited our friends new baby and Isabel packed up all of her binki's to give to Baby Katie (yes, we have had some sleep issues since, but we are working on it). While we were there, Izzy sang to Katie and held her and read her books. It was so sweet. Now that her brother's are in school all day, Izzy and I are getting into a routine and she'll say to me, "It's just the girls. Not the boys." I know that this time is fleeting; I see how quickly it goes. I know how long the school day feels when I miss my kids, and I sometimes get jealous of the teachers, for the time that they get to spend with my boys. But for now I have Isabel all to myself. I admit, I just love it.

What can I say? Isabel is delicious

VA Beach Half

2010-09-08T20:21:00.016-05:00

I did it!! I mean I freakin' rocked it!! 13.1 glorious miles in 2:04:05 and I felt awesome. That time puts me five minutes and fourty four seconds faster than my first half marathon last December. I am thrilled.

Now back to the final Blake family beach vacation of 2010.

remnants of hurricane Earl on the beach

boys playing ball

Izzy's favorite pastime - chasing birds

me & my hot husband

All smiles post-race with Mom and Dad

mmm... mmm... icecream

the storm before the hurricane

2010-09-02T19:30:00.001-05:00

This week I felt like someone or something was conspiring against me. See, back in May I was looking for a half-marathon to run this summer that was close to a destination that we could enjoy as a family. I contemplated running Chicago in August, but we decided to take 1300 trips this summer and that would have interfered with one of the many. Instead we opted for a beach weekend at the end of the summer (Labor Day) and I signed up for the Virginia Beach half marathon. We figured it would be the last hurrah before school got serious and we were really into the swing of the school year, and we even convinced my parents to meet us there. So I trained and trained in our record breaking hot weather and 300% humidity all summer long (and quickly realized why there were no local half marathons during the summer).
Then a few weeks ago Andy found out that he had a business meeting on the west coast this week. He juggled his travel plans to get back late Wednesday (actually early Thursday) so we could still leave for the beach Thursday after school. However, that left me to get two kids off to school every day for their first "real" week of school. I know that sounds like it would be easy, since the boys were gone for seven hours each day, but easy it was not. I still had some training to squeeze in, and I had Isabel to entertain. Then there was the two hour eye-doctor appointment for Devin and both boys had their first soccer practice this week. They practice on separate nights, so after a long day at school we got to spend two nights at the soccer fields instead of one. With all three kids. By myself.
Oh, and I needed to do laundry and pack us all so we could leave for the beach twelve hours after Andy landed in NC. By the end of each day we were all cranky and tired. Now there was a category four hurricane headed to the NC and VA coast, and my excitement for this run race and beach weekend had pretty much waned. I was exhausted, frustrated and really really grumpy.
But then Andy made it home and I had help getting the kids off to school. We decided not to rush off into the eye of the hurricane and chose to spend another day at home while the worst of the storm passes. My parents came to our house to wait it out and we had a nice day together. We packed, we played, we ate a good meal. Tomorrow we set off to the beach. Hopefully the hurricane will go gentle on us and all will be well when we arrive. Sometimes a change in plans can be a good thing.

grade parent

2010-08-29T19:37:00.001-05:00

I found out the other day that I am grade parent for both Devin and Alex this year. At the open house last week I did sign up for both classes. However, I told the coordinator very explicitly that they could put me where they needed me, but I only wanted one class. Initially I was a little frustrated that I had both. There are twenty-five kids in each class and two grade parents. So out of the roughly fifty families that share a class with my two boys, they couldn't find three other parents to step up? C'mon now.
But then I got to thinking, which class would I want to drop? Alex really wants me to be his grade parent, but I really think that Devin needs me to be his grade parent. What a lot of parents don't realize is that the grade parents really get to know the teachers well, and this is a good thing. Plus they always are in the loop on field trips, parties and fun things. Also, I think that when teachers know that the parents are concerned and engaged, they are more willing to give kids the benefit of the doubt and are more willing to work with the parents on issues. My experience with Alex in preschool was such that I got to know his teachers well regardless of my volunteer efforts. I assume that trend will continue, but I also want to help his teachers as much as I can.
Devin is a different kid. He can fly under the radar a bit. He does well in school, he typically follows the rules and he's a decent kid. If I don't engage with his teachers other ways (like volunteering), then I don't usually get to know them well. Then working through concerns and questions is far less comfortable. Plus, Devin volunteers virtually nothing about what he does at school. Because of Isabel, I am pretty limited with the hours that I can spend volunteering at school... so grade parent it is. Twice.

back to school. back to school. Back to School!!!

2010-08-26T20:01:00.000-05:00

Can you tell we are excited in the Blake household? From our cool new 'back to school' haircuts...

to waking up thirty minutes before the alarm (at 6:10am) on the first day of school. These boys are ready!!

my AWESOME run

2010-08-05T13:06:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure if it's because I finally had a great night's sleep where I woke up feeling completely rested, or if it's because I swam yesterday and really gave my legs a little recovery... but I had an AWESOME run today (yes that is CAPITAL and bold, because that is how good the run was). Two days ago I went to the track at the crack of dawn to do sprint work and I struggled. I did a two-mile run at 17:30 (8:45 miles) and then two one-mile runs at 8:40 before I called it quits (skipping the two half-mile sprints) and went home. My two-mile pace was fine, but my mile pace was supposed to be 8:30 and I couldn't make it. And I was pretty damn sure I wouldn't be able to make my half-miles at 4:05 (8:10 miles). I was pretty bummed, but I still managed to cobble together six miles and I am finally accepting that not all runs are going to be great.

But today's run was absolutely AWESOME! I opted for the treadmill (aka the dreadmill, considering how much I like it) and ran a warm up before starting what was going to be a three mile tempo (faster pace) run. I started out with an 8:40 pace and felt great. I had good music; the AC was wonderful and a mile or so in I kicked it up to 8:34. Another mile and a half and I hit 8:27. I felt so good I decided to add another mile and kicked it up to 8:20. Overall I did 5.6 miles in under 50 minutes and my tempo pace for the four miles was around 8:30. I felt like great. I felt like I could have run another few miles at least. I felt like a real runner. It's for the days like today that we suffer through the tough runs. Today I was strong.

realization

2010-08-04T10:39:00.002-05:00

I just spent half an hour picking play-doh out of the carpet with a toothpick (well actually several toothpicks). After that I vacuumed it up and went to work with the toothpicks again, this time on the jelly and yogurt that had hardened. Pick. Vacuum. Pick. Vacuum. I was absolutely thrilled with the result. Seriously. It is official. I am a mom who is truly pleased to clean up the various crap that my kids drop on my rug.
I forfeit all claims on coolness.

summertime & s'mores

2010-08-01T08:13:00.000-05:00

Summertime and s'mores. What could be better?

no excuses

2010-07-29T18:28:00.000-05:00

There was a time when I was decidedly not a runner. Not only was I not a runner, but I prided myself in not being a runner. My line to all my runner friends in college was, "I run when chased... sometimes." But college was a time of partying, drinking and late night burritos, not a time of fitness. Granted, I was a lifeguard and still jumped into the pool to swim laps a few times a week, but running was out of the question. My stance on running was so accepted, that I remember one of my friends expressing her surprise when she heard that I ran for a bus. I still can hear her tone of voice when she said, "You ran?!?"
I was thinking about that time of my life and how much has changed while I was out running in the Carolina heat and humidity this morning. I got a late start (about three hours later than my usual start time) and it was hot. Running in the heat is a lot harder than swimming in the heat. Go figure. I was having a tough time trying to keep my pace (because I not only run now, but I follow a training plan) and getting pretty discouraged when I remembered that voice. "You ran?!?" It is truly amazing what you can do when you decide to stop making excuses and just do it.* Yes, I ran. Today I ran seven miles at a 9:29 min/mile pace in ninety degree heat and humidity. I'm slower than a lot of people, but I'm faster than a lot of people too. I am I certainly faster than all the people who still think that running is not an option.

* while I have no intention of doing PR for Nike, the slogan fits.

The hammer

2010-07-13T20:07:00.001-05:00

Devin is a bit of a drama queen. This is not new, but what we are dealing with is more akin to what I would expect from a teenage girl than a seven year old boy. Lately I have been hearing, "This is the worst day ever!" for such trivialities as:

learning that a friend cannot sleep over
needing to turn off the PlayStation/TV/DS
generally not getting to do things Devin's way

At first we tried to ignore the drama, but over time it really grates on you. Today I had to bring down the hammer. After learning that it was indeed another 'worst day ever' in Devin's world (this time because of an accidental deletion on the PlayStation. Never mind that we went to a movie with nine little boys from the neighborhood today and he got to play PlayStation for a hour - far longer than I usually allow) I asked him how today could be the worse day ever, when he said yesterday was. Then we talked about how sad it was if every day was so horrible and how we need to create our own happiness. Nothing seemed to connect with Devin and he continued to lament his awful life when I sent him to his room to think (and to calm myself down).
When he returned I gave Devin a vocabulary lesson. He learned the meaning of the words "selfish" and "spoiled" and "brat". We again talked about all the good and wonderful things in our lives for which we should be grateful. This resulted in more tears combined with a declaration of how damaged his feelings were by my vocabulary lesson. And yet, I could tell that I still was not getting through to him.
As I was putting Devin to bed, I started talking to him about the day that Brianna died. I explained that she had been sick and in the hospital for a couple days when the doctors wanted to do a test to check her heart, and when they did the test her heart stopped working. She could not breathe. She could not talk. She could not see. She could not smile or laugh or sing or dance. I told Devin that I knew that the day that Brianna died was the worst day ever for her parents (my sister and brother-in-law) and for his cousins. I told Devin that day was the worst day ever for Grandma and Grandpa and for Andy and I and I was pretty sure it was the worst day for his other aunts and uncles and cousins too. And I asked him if he thought that today was as bad as the day that Brianna died.

I think he is starting to understand.

to tri or not to tri...

2010-07-12T20:26:00.000-05:00

That is the debate.
It's summer. For the past ten (or so) years, summer for me has been triathlon season, unless of course I was pregnant or nursing a new born. Those summers I had a legitimate reason to sit out a season. But now it's summer and I love triathlons. I love training, I love racing and I love trying to better my previous race times.
Last weekend Andy did his first sprint tri and I was so excited for him. He had a great race and it was really fun to encourage him in this new achievement. But I love competing too, and I am starting to miss triathlons. Last summer was tough because I was training for tri's and Andy was working out a lot. He had made a new commitment to becoming a healthier person and I was absolutely behind that*! We found it challenging to manage our training schedules while caring for the kids and trying to get workouts done before the Carolina heat set in each day.
Now this summer I have been running and swimming, but I only started training for my half marathon (racing on Labor Day) a few weeks ago. Part of me thought I might so a tri this summer, but between my other training, and all of our summer travel plans, I thought it would be difficult to do everything that I want to do. I had my eye on a race in August (between our trips to Chicago and Boston) but haven't registered yet because I'm not sure how to manage all the training. It is difficult to find time to training for three sports while caring for three kids. Plus, I am already committed to running three times per week to prepare for my half marathon. So the question is: can I realistically train in swimming and biking in three days each week (because we all need a rest day)? I'm not sure that I can. To be fair, I know that I could go out tomorrow and complete a sprint triathlon. But I have completed a lot of sprint triathlons. If I do another one, I want to be competitive. I want to do well.
Now Andy is thinking about training for another tri in a couple months and he is not really excited about both of us vying for workout time in the morning, especially since I am starting to do longer runs. Is it realistic that we could both train? Should I just focus on the half marathon and let him be the reigning triathlete in the household this summer? Should maintain my current training and then go out and wing it in a sprint triathlon and hope for the best? I wish I had an easy answer.

Andy after finishing his first Triathlon!!

* For the record, Andy has lost 50 lbs since last spring and looks amazing. Hubba Hubba!

the left side

2010-07-07T19:32:00.000-05:00

always the left side. again the left side.

The weekend before I was supposed to start training in earnest for the half marathon I started feeling that all-too-familiar, none-too-fun ache in my left hamstring and lower back. I stretched and stretched and decided to give it a little time to heal. But I really didn't stop running. In fact, during our week on the beach I ran even more, since the waves were way too crazy for *real* swimming and I didn't have a gym. So my hip started complaining too, and now I am following my own advice and, "listening to my body". I am back at the chiropractor, shortening my runs, stretching and icing and hoping that all will be better soon. While I am frustrated to be doing this again, I am glad that I still have a couple months until the half marathon.

beach people

2010-07-03T21:04:00.000-05:00

It's official; the beach vacation is over. As we were walking through the sand to the board walk, Isabel said to me, "But Momma, I'm not ready."

Moments later (as we were walking to the showers to rinse off before our four hour drive home), Devin told me that this was a great vacation.

When we asked Alex what his favorite part of vacation was, he said "everything".

While we will all be glad to get back to our home, friends and our routines, I truly believe that we Blake's are meant to be beach people.

status quo

2010-06-30T17:40:00.015-05:00

this is what vacation should look like

2010-06-27T19:34:00.001-05:00

..but dull he is not

2010-06-18T20:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Alex received a card from a preschool girl who says that she is his girlfriend. Alex is already a ladies man, and he loves when we talk about girls (and more specifically his girl friends). So I started teasing him that Brooke wasn't his girlfriend because I was his girlfriend and he was mine all mine (with all the appropriate cuddles and kisses being given as I was saying this). Alex told me that I couldn't be his girlfriend, and I asked him "why not"? I was expecting any number or responses from him; "Because you are my mom", "Because you're too old", etc.

Alex said, "Because you are clearly a loser."

I laughed so hard that I didn't even reprimand him for being fresh. Wonder where he heard that one...

flip flop addiction

2010-06-11T21:10:00.000-05:00

I have a problem. This is not something new or really all that new or unique, but it is my problem nonetheless. I am addicted shoes; flip flops to be exact. In the past I could ~~mask~~ justify my shoe addiction by simply purchasing a variety of shoes for the different seasons one faces in New England: summer - flip flops, spring - cute sneakers, fall - cool boots, winter - gore-tex clogs. However now that I am in the South, there is really little justification in purchasing the multitude of flip flops that I have acquired. I have sporty flip flops, dressy flip flops, flip flops that look best with jeans, flip flops that stand up to the chlorine and salt water of summer and even the adorable leather flip flops with the huge flower on them that I have been eyeing for months (drool).

They are fantastic! I am sometimes good about purging the old flops, but often times my increase in 'stock' does not match my 'shrinkage'. After my most recent purge, I now own eleven pairs of flip flops. The sad thing is that my shoes for the winter months are really quite pathetic. If only I could live in my flip flops year round.

little girls are evil

2010-06-03T20:21:00.004-05:00

Sure they look cute enough, but underneath the princess costumes and the giant smiles is pure evil. It started out innocent enough, with Isabel and her little friend (age 3) playing at our house today. But these little ladies vacillated between happy tranquility and nastiness all morning. They went from bickering over toys and slamming bedroom doors to singing songs and playing with princesses. One minute they were playing at the kitchen in the toy room (while I was cleaning the real kitchen) and the next I heard the front door open. As I was sprinting to the door to retrieve the two little ladies, I slipped on a discarded princess outfit and crashed to the floor, slamming into the closet door jam. And there I lay.

I had a moment where I really thought I was going to have to call another grown person to come and take care of the kids. I had Alex get the little girls back into the house and lock the door (which had been locked before..) and I assessed the situation. Huge bruised lump on the left shin. Imprint of a door jam on swollen right knee. Right hip pain. Swollen right hand. Then I realized that the impact of the fall was so hard that it made me pee my pants. Seriously? I have nearly peed my pants from laughing, and Lord knows I needed to do a zillion kegels after having three babies, but... seriously??

So I did what any parent does when they realize that they are completely defeated. I put Dora on the TV for the pretty little demons, changed my clothes, iced my injuries and started to reclaim my dignity. Might be time to put a chain on that door.

scheming...

2010-06-02T18:22:00.000-05:00

Devin was musing today on how great it would be if he could create a robot or a droid that could do his homework. It started with his math homework, then he added the spelling. Before I knew it he was scheming to create a blonde, almost seven-year-old droid that could pass for him at school too.

Think he's ready for the school year to end?

I felt needed

2010-05-17T19:57:00.001-05:00

I am lucky enough to be a volunteer at the Children's Hospital near our home. Yesterday I had my first shift on the oncology floor, and surprisingly I really look forward to going back. I thought working in oncology would be really sad, but it wasn't. I have worked on other floors before and I have always felt useful, but yesterday I felt more than useful. I felt needed. Many of the kids that I met were too sick or too medicated to want to interact with anyone, but the few who were having good days seemed so glad to have someone new to joke around with them and pay them some attention. Unlike on the other floors, these kids and their families have been in the hospital for weeks or months, many times over. They have seen all the movies; they have read the books, done the crafts and they are just plain tired of being at the hospital. I found myself being a total goof with the teenagers; teasing them like I would my nieces and nephews and doing what I could to make them laugh. I played with the littler ones the way I would play with my own; talking about Disney princesses and favorite colors.
One family that I met yesterday stays in one hospital room together while their child is in treatment. Four of them sleep in that small room each night before Dad takes the older one off to school and goes to work for the day. I spent a lot of my time with their sweet daughter, who was happy to tell me what the tooth fairy brought her, or show me her silly bands, but I also talked with her parents a lot. We talked about our kids. We talked about their schools and homework. We talked about what they like to eat or wear or the differences in raising boys versus girls. We chatted like friends at the park or the soccer field, only we were in a hospital room with a little girl who had a tube in her chest and was losing her hair.
My friend from high school has a son in remission from leukemia. She made the comment to me that most of the hospital volunteers are college age or senior citizens, so having a 'mom' as a volunteer would be great. I thought she meant it would be great for the kids, but I realize now that it's great for the parents also.
Yesterday when I was leaving they asked when I would be back again, and I told them not for another month. The mom said that they should be there. While I certainly look forward to seeing that amazing family again, I really wish that instead they will be happily at home.

song

2010-05-15T12:33:00.004-05:00

I find this song both haunting and beautiful. It brings me to tears.

I am 6 years old in the back of my mother's car
and I will be 7 in December
She will be gone by the beginning of next spring
and I will be left to remember
To remember

I ask my little questions
and she laughs a little laugh
But she won't tell me where we're going
She looks in my eyes with her eyes in the mirror
And says, "Some things you're better off not knowing"
Not knowing

But I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't know what her skin feels like
I only know what it might feel like
When a mother holds her daughter
When that mother knows she's leaving this life
Leaving this life

She's left with that reflection of me at 6 years old
And I have her eyes in the mirror
Well she and I, we are defined by what we have lost
Don't you wonder whose loss is dearer
Dearer

She doesn't know what my voice sounds like
She doesn't know what my skin feels like
And I only know what it might feel like
When a mother holds her daughter
When that mother knows she's leaving this life
Leaving this life

And I don't know what her voice sounds like
And I don't know what her skin feels like
I only know what it might feel like
When a mother holds her daughter
When that mother knows she's leaving this life
Leaving this life

"Leaving this Life" - Lori McKenna

intelligence

2010-05-10T19:59:00.001-05:00

There are many ways to measure intelligence. Does a person's achievement really reflect their capabilities? What does it mean to be 'gifted'? And how does a 'gifted' child fit into the curriculum of a 'regular' school?

Andy and I have been toiling with these questions for the past few months, ever since Alex's preschool suggested that we get him IQ tested, because they thought he might be 'gifted'. Alex is very bright, there is no denying that. He has been doing 100 piece puzzles on his own since he was four, and he can build the most amazing things with blocks and legos. When we do first grade math homework aloud with Devin, Alex is often as quick or quicker to answer the questions, and a couple months before his fifth birthday he began to read. I think our first reaction would have been to assume that Alex was just trying to keep up with his brother by doing the things that Devin does. However, a close friend and educator had mentioned the same thing to us months before; she also said she thought he might be gifted. We began to wonder if there was something else at play. If Alex was truly gifted, we would need to find out so that we could ensure that he's being challenged appropriately in school. So we met with a psychologist and an education specialist, both of whom suggested that Alex be IQ tested, and we started investigating our options for his education. Can the school that we plan to send him to accommodate gifted kids? Is there space for him in the gifted academy, even though we are not in that district? Does our own district have any options to offer? Is Alex truly gifted??????
Months ago, when we initially discussed this, my friend was quick to warn me that gifted kids don't always do well in school. They don't always follow along with the class and are often curious and impulsive. They excel in what they are interested in, and sometimes disregard the rest. She likened Devin to a "high achiever", meaning he's a smart kid that will work hard and do well in school. This is rather familiar to Andy and I, since I think we both fall into that category. But gifted kids... well we all have something to learn.

For the purposes of Alex's evaluation, the psychologist said that they consider an IQ of 140 to be gifted (100 is average). She also mentioned that most Catholic grade schools teach to an IQ level of 115 or 120. Alex was tested last week. While we are awaiting the official results, the psychologist indicated that he tested at about 135 for non-verbal and about 120 for verbal. While he may qualify for the gifted academy, we learned that they will not take students from other districts. However, he is still above (or at the high water mark) for the Catholic school's curriculum. We are waiting for her full report before we approach his future Kindergarten. Although he is not considered gifted, with that IQ he is considered to be in the top 2.2% of his peers and we want to ensure that the school knows what kind of special little guy they are getting in the fall.

toddler love

2010-05-05T20:37:00.001-05:00

Isabel loves me. For a two-year-old to love her mother is no surprise, but at times I am overwhelmed by her love. It is absolutely wonderful to know that this beautiful little person thinks I am the center of the world (or rather, that she is the center of my world), but it can be a little troublesome as well. Since she was a year old she would push her brothers out of my lap when we were cuddling, only now she accompanies that action with an angry, "My Mommy!". I can't count the times that she refused basic care from her father in deference to me. Tonight, after insisting that I get her out of her car seat, she flat out would not let Andy give her a bath. She ran from him yelling, "No, no, Papa. Mommy give Izzy bath.". The men of the house all seem to take these antics in stride. However, I worry that she will eventually hurt Andy's feelings, and I certainly feel like I miss out on some quality time with the boys. I cannot read with them at bedtime without her planting herself right in the middle of the action.

But I adore my little girl. She's funny and sweet and such a joy to all of us. There are times when I literally yearn for her cuddles and affection, but my feelings pale in comparison with the fierce intensity of her love. I admit, there is a part of me that hopes this will never change.

don't know how they do it...

2010-05-03T07:22:00.000-05:00

I ran nearly eleven miles yesterday morning. Unlike when I was training for the half-marathon last fall/winter, the humidity was about a gazillion percent and I really felt the difference. When I got home, all I wanted to do was lay down. In the grass, on the floor... I did not care. I was just completely wiped. My clothes were soaked to the point where I could have wrung them out and I was a mess. It was all I could do to keep moving that morning as I puttered around the house, cleaning and doing laundry. I held to together until Izzy and Alex went down for a nap, and then I did the same.
I am certainly learning that there is a direct correlation between the number of miles I run and the amount of time I need to lay down afterward. Let's just say that a full marathon is probably not in my future. But it got me to thinking... how do people manage? How do people train for something that requires hours of constant activity, and still work full time and care for their families?
No wonder it takes someone exceptional to run a marathon or (OMG!) an Ironman. There is a part of me that wistfully imagines myself completing an Ironman, but the reality is that I cannot imagine the impact that all of the training would have on the rest of my life.
For now I will just remain in awe of those who compete in the ultra endurance events. I will do another half marathon (or maybe two) this year and be content knowing that we all do the best that we can...

from the mouths of babes

2010-04-01T20:55:00.000-05:00

In the car on the way home from soccer tonight Alex and Isabel were lobbying for a treat, and they were giving me suggestions of which desserts I could give them. Isabel knew that I had recently purchased some popsicles, and asked for those.
Then Alex said,"Mommy, I think Isabel said she wants some testicles."

Happy Birthday Isabel

2010-03-29T20:38:00.001-05:00

My baby doll turned two last week. Can you believe it?

Happy Birthday Love-bug!! You are pure sunshine.

seriously?

2010-03-22T20:22:00.000-05:00

holy crap, has it really been that long since I posted anything? Seriously? I guess I'll just have to get off my couch, put away the bonbons and get down to business.

tomorrow. when I'm not so tired... or when I have less to do...

Kaizen

2010-01-25T13:42:00.009-05:00

I'm not a believer in New Year's resolutions. I just don't think that they work for me. When I worked at Fidelity Investments, a philosophy of continuous improvement, or kaizen, was introduced to me. Wikipedia states, "The term kaizen (Japanese for "improvement") is a Japanese word adopted into English referring to a philosophy or practices focusing on continuous improvement in manufacturing activities, business activities in general, and even life in general, depending on interpretation and usage". I like to believe that I am continuously working to better myself, regardless of the time of year. When I train for races, I follow a training plan almost to a fault. I set goals that are achievable yet challenging, and I work really hard to accomplish my goals.
And yet, I don't think that I look quite like someone who works out like I do. Don't get me wrong; I am pleased with my endurance, my strength and my cardio-vascular capabilities. I am in the best shape of my life, and yet this "best shape of my life" body doesn't quite look the way that I expected. So in the spirit of Kaizen, I decided to make a change. I decided to diet. See, I have managed to get back into shape by exercising a lot and eating healthy, but I have not been really limiting myself. And it worked, to an extent. But I am ready for more; I am ready to look the way I imagined I would when exercising as long and as hard as I do. So I am in diet mode: keeping the food journal and avoiding the carbs. and sweets. and alcohol.
I do not love this, but I hope that I will love the effect that this has.
Continuous improvement.

politics

2010-01-20T19:58:00.001-05:00

I have always considered myself liberal. I'm not sure when I decided my political affiliations, but I think that I always aligned myself the aspirations of the Democratic Party. I like the idea of helping those who cannot help themselves. I am pro-life, because I think abortion is wrong, but I am also pro-choice, because I would not take away another woman's right to choose. I believe that adequate healthcare is a right that we all should share. Moving from Boston to Charlotte was a bit of a culture shock for me during the presidential election. I was used to a state full of liberals; where gay marriage is legal and healthcare is available to all (I was also used to incredibly high state taxes, but that is a different story...). Charlotte is a land of transplants and big banks, so there are certainly many who shared my politics, but many did not. In fact, when I would describe myself as a social liberal and a fiscal conservative, many of my Republican friends shared that stance. In the election, I supported Obama. I really thought that he could bring about change, but I also knew that it took our country years to get into the sorry state that we were in, and it would take years to rectify many of the problems.

When my compatriots in Massachusetts elected a Republican senator and shifted the power in congress, the political pundits said that it was a reaction to Obama leadership. It was a reaction to the healthcare plan that many people do not support. And maybe it was a more local reaction for the people of Massachusetts who are concerned about their state representation more than the overall political impact. Honestly, I was not disappointed. Surprised, but not disappointed.
I do support universal healthcare, but I think that we as a country need more clarity on how this will be funded. I firmly believe that no one should be exempt from the tax (especially the unions), and was disappointed to learn that Obama is willing to make concessions that don't make sense just for the sake of passing his reform bill. And I am frankly tired of Obama's attacks on the very industry that puts a roof over my head and food on my table. The banks are not the root of all financial problems in this country, so stop demonizing them. If the American people could spend within their means instead of over-extending themselves financially, then we would have a much smaller problem. But considering that our government is currently incurring a debt that my daughter's granddaughter will someday be paying, I understand why people would be slow to learn about living within their means.

In the meantime, I do not regret my support for Obama. I am willing to give him some more time. But damn, that man is a wonderful orator.

my holiday gift

2009-12-30T21:28:00.000-05:00

Patience of Mother Teresa aside, one thing that I did do for my family this year was sacrifice the physique that my running and my hard work at the gym created (a physique that is less then perfect, of course, but continuously improving) to ensure that my kids did not consume too much sugary food. I let them have the candy from the stockings and the candy canes on the tree, but I managed to consume enough baked goods for myself and all three kids combined. This was no small feat, considering that the Christmas baking started in the Blake house around December 15th and there was much iteration. Cookies for teachers, cookies for parties, test cookies for parties, cookies for Santa. But I did it. I kept my family safe from all the needless calories the same way a soldier throws himself on a grenade. I took one (or two, or three) for the team. What can I say? I'm a giver...

patience

2009-12-20T21:22:00.001-05:00

I have come to realize that the holidays aren't only stressful for the parents of this world, but it's a pretty challenging time for the kids too. For them it's primarily excitement (and lots of extra sugar), but their enthusiasm isn't always expressed appropriately. One would think that given their awareness of Santa watching, baby Jesus coming (which is becoming a bigger deal with their Christian education), and the Elf on the Shelf, the kids would be on their best behavior. That is just not the case. So I have made a decision about how I can make the holidays better for my family. This holiday season I will have the patience of Mother Teresa. I will cuddle the cranky, teething toddler without worrying about what else I should be doing. I will try to do something every day to make sure that my kids have a fun day, even if it means that they come in covered from nose to knees in mud. I will count to ten before I yell. I will not stress out about play-doh being ground into the carpet or sandy footprints in the hallway. And I will not take my frustrations out on the only other adult in the house.
I expect my kids to be kind and respectful. I won't tolerate bad behavior, but I am going to find a little more patience for each one of them. They deserve it, and I think we will all have a happier holiday if I can.

Inspiration

2009-12-17T20:49:00.005-05:00

We all get inspriation from different places. In my race report (previous post) I mentioned that it was a good song that made me kick up my pace during my half marathon. But I think it was more than that. The song in question is "I got a Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas, which I think is a fun, great running song. However, the night before my race I came across this amazing video of the Black Eyed Peas playing an outdoor show in Chicago as part of Oprah's 24th season kickoff. There was something spectacular about seeing a crowd of thousands of people doing this amazing thing in my hometown that just gave me goosebumps. Marathon morning when I looked around at all the people running miles and miles through the streets of Charlotte, and all the volunteers, and all the people that were braving the cold to cheer on the runners, I just felt like I was part of something bigger. We all are.
Please check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aSbKvm_mKA