Happy Holidays

Our holidays included an early visit from Santa...



... and a trip to Chicago to celebrate Christmas with the family.

It truly was the most wonderful time of the year.



7:00am conversation

(...scene opens with Meaghan wiping a toddler's bum while Andy dresses near the sink...)

Andy: "Are you going to wash whites anytime soon?"
Me: "They are in the dryer, if you want to fold them."
Andy: "No thanks."

(...Andy exits...)

I guess sometimes my perfect husband who totally spoils me can be a "stereotypical guy" just like the rest of them...

Thunder Road again

I ran the Thunder Road half marathon again this year.  It was my third half marathon, and my second foray into the crazy hilly race that is Thunder Road.  But this was also a huge departure for me in terms of race preparation.  Typically the anal/neurotic part of me takes over when it comes to race prep, and I follow a specific training plan, log every workout and pay close attention to my pace, heart rate and recovery.  This time I just ran.  I still ran three times per week and I still did speed work, tempo runs and long runs, but I followed no plan.  I did most of my long runs with friends and just went the distance and pace that they wanted to go (except at the end, when I reserved the right to push it...).  Most of my tempo runs were driven by the amount of time I had to run before I had to do something else, and I typically made up my speed work runs while on the treadmill.  In my mind, this was the non-committal race.  I signed up, but I had not committed myself to racing. 
To be honest, it is really hard to focus on training during the holidays.  While that is the time that we all need a lot of incentive to ensure that we make it to the gym... it's also a time when there is so much going on that training has to take a back seat.  A few days before the race it dawned on me that I was running a half marathon shortly, and I frankly was not excited.  I didn't really want to do it.  I was getting a cold, and I felt lousy.  It was a really busy time with the kids and Andy's work (so he wasn't home much) and I was just not into it.  Plus, last year I ran with a friend for the entire race, and saw a bunch of other friends before, after and along the way.  This year I was running alone. 
I ran Thunder Road at 2:09:49 last year, and Virginia Beach at 2:04:05 over Labor day.  Thunder Road is a much hillier course, so I thought I would go slower than VA Beach, but faster than last year.  I set my goal at 2:06 for the race.  The morning was cold, but warmer than last year and I felt good running.  Except on the hills; I cursed myself for not running more hills during training at least ten times during the race.  But I felt really good, and when I crossed the 10k clock at 57 minutes, I knew I was on pace to hit 2:04 again.  2:04 at Thunder Road - the crazy hilly course!  I decided to try to keep my pace up so I could make it, and at every mile I checked my pace to see if I was still well under ten minute miles.  It was hard.  The hills were hard.  When I hit the water station at mile eleven, going uphill again, I walked for a few seconds while I downed the water.  But overall my pace was great.  I knew I was going to beat my time for VA Beach.  I hit mile twelve, where I would typically start to pick up my pace, but I had nothing.  Mile 12.5 and I still could not move any faster.  I managed to push the legs a little faster when I finally saw the 'finish' banner and crossed at 2:03:03. My fastest 13.1 mile race yet.

2:03:03!!



my three babies

Tonight I was singing to Alex before he went to bed, and I sang this song to him, which I used to sing to him quite a lot when he was a baby.  It's really rather melancholy, but despite my joy at welcoming Alex, much of his infancy was desperately sad.  Brianna died when Alex was five weeks old.  I remember being up with him at night with him and the tears would slip down onto him while he nursed. 
But to me this song is also about the unconditional love of a mother for her children.

three babies
each of these
my three babies
I will carry with me
for myself
I ask no one else will be
mother to these three
and of course
I'm like a wild horse
but there's no other way I could be
water + feed
are not tools that I need
for the thing that I've chosen to be

in my soul
my blood + my bones
I have wrapped your cold bodies around me
the face on you
the smell of you
will always be with me

each of these
my three babies
I was not willing to leave
though I tried
I blasphemed + denied
I know they will be returned to me

each of these
my babies
have brought you closer to me
no longer mad like a horse
I'm still wild but not lost
from the thing that I've chosen to be
and it's 'cos you've thrilled me
silenced me
stilled me
proved things I never believed
the face on you
the smell of you
will always be with me.

              -Sinéad O'Connor

christmas card 2010

Snow Kiss Green Christmas

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Getting three little kids to sit still, look at the camera and smile for a Christmas card picture is nearly impossible.  Here's to a little laughter along the way...