missing the B

I was at my sister's house while visiting Chicago, and I saw a new picture of Brianna.  Ok, to be accurate, the picture was not new; it has been four and a half years since Brianna died, but it was a picture that I don't remember seeing before.  I didn't realize it, but I had committed all the other pictures of her to memory except this one.  This picture was new to me.  And I cried.  It's funny sometimes the things that will set us off.  When I am in my life far away from the rest of the family, I can remember Brianna more fondly, more objectively.  I can think about all the wonderful things that she brought into our lives in her short nine years and I can be grateful that we had her that long.  But when I go to Chicago it's different.  In Chicago I miss her more, because that is where she is meant to be.  She didn't spend time in my house in Massachusetts and we moved South long after she was gone, so while I miss her always, the feeling is nothing compared to the void felt at my sister's house.  I still miss you punkin.  I can only imagine the young woman that you would be becoming now.