my holiday gift

Patience of Mother Teresa aside, one thing that I did do for my family this year was sacrifice the physique that my running and my hard work at the gym created (a physique that is less then perfect, of course, but continuously improving) to ensure that my kids did not consume too much sugary food.  I let them have the candy from the stockings and the candy canes on the tree, but I managed to consume enough baked goods for myself and all three kids combined.  This was no small feat, considering that the Christmas baking started in the Blake house around December 15th and there was much iteration.  Cookies for teachers, cookies for parties, test cookies for parties, cookies for Santa.  But I did it.  I kept my family safe from all the needless calories the same way a soldier throws himself on a grenade.  I took one (or two, or three) for the team.  What can I say?  I'm a giver...

patience

I have come to realize that the holidays aren't only stressful for the parents of this world, but it's a pretty challenging time for the kids too. For them it's primarily excitement (and lots of extra sugar), but their enthusiasm isn't always expressed appropriately. One would think that given their awareness of Santa watching, baby Jesus coming (which is becoming a bigger deal with their Christian education), and the Elf on the Shelf, the kids would be on their best behavior. That is just not the case. So I have made a decision about how I can make the holidays better for my family. This holiday season I will have the patience of Mother Teresa. I will cuddle the cranky, teething toddler without worrying about what else I should be doing. I will try to do something every day to make sure that my kids have a fun day, even if it means that they come in covered from nose to knees in mud. I will count to ten before I yell. I will not stress out about play-doh being ground into the carpet or sandy footprints in the hallway. And I will not take my frustrations out on the only other adult in the house.
I expect my kids to be kind and respectful. I won't tolerate bad behavior, but I am going to find a little more patience for each one of them. They deserve it, and I think we will all have a happier holiday if I can.

Inspiration

We all get inspriation from different places.  In my race report (previous post) I mentioned that it was a good song that made me kick up my pace during my half marathon.  But I think it was more than that.  The song in question is "I got a Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas, which I think is a fun, great running song.  However, the night before my race I came across this amazing video of the Black Eyed Peas playing an outdoor show in Chicago as part of Oprah's 24th season kickoff.  There was something spectacular about seeing a crowd of thousands of people doing this amazing thing in my hometown that just gave me goosebumps.  Marathon morning when I looked around at all the people running miles and miles through the streets of Charlotte, and all the volunteers, and all the people that were braving the cold to cheer on the runners, I just felt like I was part of something bigger.  We all are. 
Please check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aSbKvm_mKA

Thunder Road Half Marathon

I was worried about my hip. I was worried about going 13.1 miles when my longest run to date was 10.4. I was even a little worried about the unseasonably cold weather. I was excited to compete in something new, but I'll admit it, I felt a little out of my element on Saturday morning when we were getting ready to run. Everything was working out perfectly. No problems getting to the convention center to get my pre-race stuff, lines for packet pickup and bathroom were reasonable, and once the sun came up, it didn't feel as cold as I thought I would. But my confidence wasn't there. My last run (the Wednesday before) was as close to pain free as I had experienced since Thanksgiving and I had a great night sleep on Friday, so by all accounts I should have been ready, but I didn’t feel it.
Kim and I started somewhere in the middle of the five thousand runners that braved the twenty-eight degree temps to run either the half or full marathon. The vibe was amazing. People dressed as elves, as Santa, and we even saw one guy dressed as Bam Bam from the Flintstones (apparently he missed the Halloween races but wanted to get some use out of the costume). The road ahead of us was packed with runners and the road behind us was the same. I almost didn't notice my pace or the hills for the first couple miles. Around mile four I realized that my heart rate was higher than I wanted it to be and I slowed down a bit. Since this was my first half marathon, my only stated goal was to finish... but I really hoped that I could do it in ten-minute miles or better. I could tell that Kim was a little concerned about our pace (which seemed to fluctuate between 9:40 and 10:30, but was over ten-minute miles more than under), so I gave her the out to leave me behind if she wanted. I really felt like I was going as fast as I needed to be at that point. I had decided that I needed to keep my heart rate on the lower end of my comfort zone until about mile eight or ten, and then I could let loose. So I slowed us down a few times. If Kim was bothered by it she didn't let on. At the mile markers we were consistently hitting a 10:05 or 10:10 pace… until I got a really good song on my iPod at about mile seven or eight and we took off. Kim pulled us through another good song on her iPod, and before we knew it we were at mile nine and had cut thirty seconds off our split time. My legs felt good. My hip was starting to complain a bit, but it was still so much better than it has been just a week ago. We hit mile ten and had shaved off another twenty seconds. We were running at about a 9:30 pace when we hit mile eleven and Kim and I had officially run further than either of us had ever run in the past. At that point I knew I could make the full 13.1 miles, and now it was time to chase down my other goal: finish the race in a ten-minute mile pace. I won't say it wasn't hard, but I pushed it. When I felt myself slowing, Kim was right there pulling us along. I was taught years ago by one of my fastest runner friends (Ed Tarnuzzer, for those of you who know him) that you always need something left for the finish, and this was no different. As we got closer to the finish we picked up our pace, and when I saw that big yellow banner printed with the glorious word "FINISH", I ran as hard as I could. We made it. Kim and I finished the race in 2:09:49, which meant that our average pace was 9:55.
I may have been too conservative with my pace early on; I may have been able to go faster. When I try something for the first time, I tend to keep my goals pretty modest. I don't ever want to work that hard and train that long only to be disappointed with my performance. My goals that day were to finish and to run ten-minute miles or better, and I did it.

I did it!

perspective

It's all about perspective.
I have been a little bummed lately. At the end of September, I started training for this half marathon (the race is this Saturday, December 12th) and have loved my training. I had been feeling great and running better than I ever thought I could. Then a week and a half ago I start having IT band issues and I am so frustrated. I want to go into this race feeling like I'm at the top of my game. I know that this is not the Olympic trials and I am not some world-class athlete, but when I compete in something I want to know that I am doing the best that I can do. So after a tough week of running, where I was in some pain during my runs and absolutely hobbling around after, I was nervous about my longer run today. I am caught between wanting to follow my training plan to the letter to ensure that I am ready... and not wanting to push myself because I don't want this injury to force me out of Saturday's race. So I planned to do six miles, but thought I'd push it to eight if I felt up to it.
But I live in a hilly area and completely forgot that my PT suggested I find a flat course for this run until I was already running the first of many hills. See, the hills hurt. I mean, running hills rarely feels awesome, but with my ITB/hip pain the hills can be killer. So as I was in the midst of the half-mile climb to leave my neighborhood, I quickly nixed the eight-mile plan. My run was okay. I felt decent enough, but with every stride my hip hurt from the time my foot hit the ground until I pushed off again. Around mile five I started to feel disappointed that I was hurting and that my pace was pretty slow (I thought I was doing 10+ minute miles) when running had recently been such a great experience for me.
I'll admit I was about to start a little pity party when I remembered a blog post that read recently, which I had written in January of this year. In this post I was bemoaning the fact that I couldn't run a mile. One mile. See, I had made good running progress last fall after recovering from my broken ankle, but I got pneumonia for the holidays and running was out of the question for a while. How's that for a little perspective? I couldn't run a mile, and less than a year later I'm banging out six miles and feeling bad about my ten-minute mile pace? Not for long. I realized that while dealing with an injury so close to my race isn't ideal, it's out of my control. Things don't always go our way. All I can do is go into that race on Saturday and do my best; injured or not.

I finished my six and a half mile run with an overall pace of 9:54 per mile. So much for the pity party.

gorgeous

Isabel's new phrase: "I'm Gorgeous!".  No issues with her self esteem.  I can't wait until she starts saying that without prompting.  That will be hilarious.  She is though, isn't she?

missing the B

I was at my sister's house while visiting Chicago, and I saw a new picture of Brianna.  Ok, to be accurate, the picture was not new; it has been four and a half years since Brianna died, but it was a picture that I don't remember seeing before.  I didn't realize it, but I had committed all the other pictures of her to memory except this one.  This picture was new to me.  And I cried.  It's funny sometimes the things that will set us off.  When I am in my life far away from the rest of the family, I can remember Brianna more fondly, more objectively.  I can think about all the wonderful things that she brought into our lives in her short nine years and I can be grateful that we had her that long.  But when I go to Chicago it's different.  In Chicago I miss her more, because that is where she is meant to be.  She didn't spend time in my house in Massachusetts and we moved South long after she was gone, so while I miss her always, the feeling is nothing compared to the void felt at my sister's house.  I still miss you punkin.  I can only imagine the young woman that you would be becoming now.

itbs

and so it is.  The hip pain is from my IT band.  Many runners before me have complained of this issue, and many will after I have sworn off running forever.  But for now I will stretch, heat/ice as needed and scale back my mileage significantly in preparation for my half.  Less than two weeks to go.  Wish me luck.

training

I have done a fair amount of racing.  I'm certainly not as hard-core as my marathon and ironman friends, but I've done twelve triathlons, a few 10k races and more 5k's than I could possibly count.  Through the years of racing, I have come to realize a couple things about myself.  First, I need a goal. I need something to train for, or I get bored and a little lost at the gym.  With a goal, comes a training plan.  I need a plan.  I need someone else to outline what I should be doing and when I should be doin it so that I can just get out there and train.  For my half marathon next month, I have been using a training plan from Runner's World that has me running three very focused runs per week.  And I have loved my training. 
I used to hate running.  This summer I was training for a tri in September, and I realized that for the first time ever, I was truly enjoying my hour long runs. I thought it might be time to try something new.  A few friends had signed up for a half marathon here in town in December, and within days of completing the tri I signed up (have I mentioned that I need a goal?).  My training plan has me running 20-25 miles per week in three runs.  It has been really difficult at times and I have had to really push myself, but I am really enjoying it.  I have learned all about the importance of body glide and fueling up along the way during long runs.  I have drained the blood and pus from a black tonail (which I gladly did not lose! One of my runner friends told me to consider it a 'rite of passage' into the big leagues for running.).  I have worn down my running shoes to the point where the rubber was gone and I was running on the cushion (lesson learned about breaking in new shoes before the old ones are toast...).  I have been to the PT about some minor knee pain that I did not want to turn into major knee pain while training. 

And I have been running longer and faster than I ever have in my life. 

My left hip (left ankle, left knee, left hip... I'm sensing a theme) started complaining during my long run on Tuesday and was far more vocal during my speedwork on Thursday, so I skipped my long run this weekend.  Time for another visit to the PT so I can be in tip-top shape for the race.  Less than two weeks to go.  I am nervous about my latest injury, but so very excited to run!!

my lovey

Isabel is darling. I mean absolutely darling. I want to bottle her and send her to all my friends and family. I want to freeze time and keep her just the way she is right now. I adore her. She is just so happy, so curious, so busy and so fun. The other day I went up to get her clothes (I had stripped her after snack time, since she insisted on feeding herself yogurt and I wanted to keep my furniture safe from the large amount of yogurt that she was wearing) and when I came down she was sitting on the floor, reading to her baby and wearing only a diaper and Devin's recently removed socks (she is obsessed with footwear of any kind). When she reads to her babies, it's always either "Go Dog Go" (her favorite book) or "Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See"; I know this because she is talking well enough for me to identify parts of these books. She is always talking and singing and dancing and she loves to make silly noises and faces. Tonight after her bath we first played 'peek-a-boo', which she initiates while I diaper and dress her by covering her face with her towel and saying, "Is Izzy?" (I cannot even begin to write how she actually says "peek-a-boo" since it seems to be a random collection of sounds with the correct intonation of "peek-a-boo"), then we moved on to Eskimo kisses and then she grabbed me around the neck and squeezed me like crazy. And I love that about Isabel. Her hugs. When she hugs me, she really hugs me, and it's fantastic. She is actually a little possessive of her mommy, and will sometimes throw a fit if I am holding or cuddling her brothers (and they are smart enough to use that to torment her. They will get between Isabel and I and hug me while she screams. I'm just happy for all the affection, since I know that in a few years these hugs will be harder to come by...).
My little love is still a willful and determined toddler though. Isabel still throws a hissy fit when I bring her in from the sandbox. She will still smile at me while she throws her food across the table, and she still wakes up far earlier than this Mommy wants to every day. But she is just so fun and happy, and I do love her loviness.

the mayhem

I think we are finally entering normalcy for the family. Since school has started we have been adjusting to a lot of new schedules and new responsibilities while maintaining a lot of our commitments from summer. This has been a challenge. But I think we are finally starting a period where our lives will slow down.
We still have school and preschool (with two carpools to juggle each day while trying to get Isabel her requisite naps) and Devin has homework most nights. We still have soccer for Alex twice per week, baseball for Devin three to four times per week and the random play dates, doctors appointments and volunteer duties.
However, our guests have left, my triathlon is done, Isabel had her ear tube surgery, and much of the 'back to school' craziness (which was compounded when I offered to be Devin's Room Mom) has passed. While most of those things were wonderful (we certainly LOVED having our visitors, and I really felt like all my training paid off for my race), we are all ready to take a communal deep breath and relax.

my race report

I did it! After taking time off to get pregnant, have another baby (number three) and nurse a broken leg (while said baby number three was merely three months old and my 'big helpers' were three and five respectively), I trained for and competed in my eleventh triathlon. It was a lot of fun, and it was a lot of work. I followed a pretty challenging training plan for this race, but I am quite proud that I didn't get as crazy about training as I have in the past. I guess I have finally learned that putting the needs of three or four other people before mine will not ruin my race. But I definitely put in the effort and it paid off.
My swim was okay. Solidly okay for me. I came out in the top quarter of the women in a time that was a little more than what I would have liked. But I felt good in the water and it was pretty uneventful other than jockeying for position at the turn and at the end. My bike was a little more interesting though. One of the downsides of being a decent swimmer is that you come out of the water with, and sometimes in front of, a lot of really strong triathletes. Then when these competitive athletes make their comeback move on the bike they can be so focused (or so unconcerned with others? maybe so out of breath from the swim?) that they don't give you the courtesy of a shout out as they pass. Sometimes this is no big deal, but one woman came within six inches of my handlebars without so much as a "boo". But rude bikers aside, I had a really strong bike. I can credit my fast time in some degree to the unleashed Rottweiler at mile twelve who decided to run along with me for a block or so. He certainly helped to shave some seconds off my time, as I shot by the bikers in front of me like they were on a leisurely Sunday ride instead of mid-race. My run was about what I expected. I would have liked to go a little faster, but I did fine. And I could not keep the smile off my face during that run! I just kept thinking, "I'm back! I'm doing it! I am so excited to be racing again!!" I finished the half mile swim, fourteen mile bike and three mile run in one hour and forty minutes and placed fifty-third out of one hundred sixty-nine women.
If this keeps up, I might have to change my blog name from Midpack Mama to Top Third Mama. =)

balance

It's that time again. Elementary school has started and preschool is only a week and a half away. Baseball starts this weekend. Soccer starts on Monday. It's time for carpool schedules and 'quick dinner' nights. It's time for Saturday morning's "divide and conquer", with one boy on the soccer field and one on the baseball field. Plus Isabel needs a nap or two every day.


Despite all this, I am still training for a triathlon. It's only a month away, but I wish it was sooner. I am a person who likes to be prepared. Because there are three sports to train for, I feel a lot of pressure to get a couple sessions in each sport every week. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the training. Surprisingly, I an even enjoying the running, but I just don't feel like I have enough time to do it all. Given all of our other commitments, I feel like I am cutting corners on my training. I know that this isn't the Olympics and I'm not in any danger of becoming a professional triathlete, but when I commit to something I like to be prepared for it. I could go out tomorrow and complete the race, but I want to compete. I want to do better than I have in the past. I want to achieve.

But when I decided to become a wife and mother to many little ones, I learned to put the needs of others before my own. And their needs truly are more important than my race. Sometimes I still struggle with that lesson, but in the end it is all about balance. =)

the sneak

Devin is becoming a big kid. He can read. He understands rules and consequences; he can be very helpful with his siblings. Because of this he has more freedom, like letting him go to the neighbor's house alone with a walkie-talkie, but he also has more responsibility, like letting him pour his own milk or letting him bathe himself. We recently started letting the boys earn a weekly allowance (based on chores and good behavior). Devin is really excited about this and he's proud of himself that he can do these new things. He feels like he's growing up. I shouldn't be surprised that some of his negative behaviors are getting a bit more sophisticated as well.

Devin has always been a little sneaky. He's the kid that rarely will do anything overtly wrong, but if he thinks there's a chance that he won't get caught, he's just as evil as the rest. Today the boys were jumping off their beds. I told them to stop and a few minutes later I hear Devin telling Alex to yell "LALALALALA" really loud. So Alex starts yelling and I hear the loud 'thunk' which clearly is Devin jumping off the bed. So I call him downstairs to talk to me and I ask him if he really thought that having Alex yell would cover the sound of him jumping. I couldn't hide the snicker in my voice, because part of me admired his creativity, and Dev knew he wasn't really in trouble. However, I thought I made myself clear that he needed to get in line.
So later when he went to yellow and eventually to red (we use a traffic light analogy for poor behavior) Devin cried and went to his room. When I invited him to join the free world again he wasn't carrying on about losing his allowance (a consequence of going to red) as much as he did last time this happened, but I didn't think much of it. Until bedtime when I noticed that Devin's ziploc bag full of money (I know, we need to get the kids wallets, but try finding little boy wallets that can hold change... which is completely necessary since most of their money is not paper). Devin's bag had more change than I remembered. I checked Alex's bag and it looked pretty sparse, but I wasn't sure if any money was missing. So I called Devin over, held up his bag and asked him if there was anything that he wanted to tell me. He got the "oh shit" look in his eyes and then he told me that he figured out how to get money out of his piggy bank through the hole in the bottom.
What??!?! I was absolutely floored! Here I thought I was confronting a little thief and I was ready to wield Mom's fury of discipline, and the kid really was only taking what was already his. No wonder he wasn't too broken up about losing his allowance. Again, I kind of admired Devin's ingenuity. He proudly showed me how he got the stopper out of the bottom of the bank and he told me that he only took two quarters, three dimes and a penny. Then Devin promised me that he won't do it again, but I can tell he's not sold on the whole concept of saving his money. And I am realizing that I need to step up my parenting skills a bit.

in a nutshell...

OK- so it's been three months. I admit that I have been remiss about posting updates, and when I consider all that has transpired since I last blogged I am a little ashamed that I haven't made the time. So, here is a laundry list of what has been consuming our lives since May...

- Alex got tubes in his ears (which means that every lake or ocean swim requires ear plugs and his "ninja headband" to keep the ear plugs in). He's still the loudest kid I've ever met!
- Isabel went from walking to running and learned a zillion new words (although some very innocent works like 'chalk' and 'block' could be misconstrued as foul language by one who is not well versed in speaking one-year-old).
- Devin swam his first season on swim team and was a serious contender in the 6&Under competition.
- Alex played football with 1992 Heisman winner Gino Torretti (whose daughter was in Alex's preschool class).
- Andy and I spent an absolutely wonderful weekend in Charleston - without the kids!! Thanks Mom & Dad. =)
- Devin graduated from Kindergarten (and had a multitude of end-of-year school activities that brought me to his school almost as much as him!).
- Andy took a new position at Wells Fargo and has a two-year commitment to lead their technology integration efforts.
- I swam 28850 meters, biked 275.3 miles and ran 124.5 miles as part of my triathlon training to date. More training to come!
- We celebrated Devin and Alex's birthdays with 18 little friends at the neighborhood pool.
- Alex developed a love for rock-n-roll and cites his favorites as Eddie Vedder, Widespread Panic and Kid Rock.
- We visited the families in Chicago and got to see a lot of friends and family at Isabel's belated first birthday party.
- We spent a week on the beach in SC with our great friends the Challis family and a wonderful time was had by all (despite Isabel's horrific sleep schedule).
- Devin learned to skim board, Alex improved his boogie board technique, Isabel found her true calling as a nasty mess in the sand (she loved it, but was so disgusting).
- Devin and Alex each found hermit crabs, snails, sand dollars and even held a small shark on the beach.
- Isabel ate constantly on the beach, but she kept putting her food down in the sand and then eating it again. So gross. I think she started to prefer her watermelon and pb&j all gritty.
- The Hennessy family (my brother, Belinda and the four kids) came for a visit that was too short, but a lot of fun!
- We went boating on Lake Norman on three separate occasions and all were fantastic.
- We swam with friends at the neighborhood pool and the YMCA water park more times than I could possibly count.
- Devin learned to pour his own cereal and milk so he can "make breakfast" for himself and for Alex. Now he's working on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
- I did 1593 loads of laundry (ok - maybe overstated a bit, but with the beach towels and the work out clothes and the little dirty girl it has been a lot!).
- Andy still loves me. =)

brotherly love

The relationship between Alex and Isabel has really flourished and it is amazing to see how close they have grown. When Isabel first came on the scene, Alex was not so sure about her. That feeling seemed to be pretty mutual once Isabel was old enough to express her preferences. Andy and I would joke that she didn't trust him. Let's just say that he loved her a little too much sometimes, and is not gentle by nature.
However, I think that Isabel brings out a real tenderness in Alex. I first noticed this when Isabel started crawling, and Alex would get nervous about her falling down. She pulled herself up on the railing in the hallway, and Alex ran over to her saying, "No Isabel. You'll fall down and break yourself." This sweetness has progressed into Alex calling Iz little names, like "sweetie Girl" (one on my names for her) or "Shoogie Boog" (which he picked up from our friend Krista, who calls Alex many variations of "Sugar"). He'll spontaneously cuddle her and tell her that he loves her, and when they cuddle in his bed before naps he always wants her to be on the side close to the wall so she won't fall out of bed.
Today Alex took his devotion to a new level. At dinner tonight he started peeling his grapes for Isabel (something I am pretty confident that my brother never did for me!). Then he shared his cookies with her. After dinner Alex wanted to have a 'movie night', so he went upstairs to get his jammies on, and brought Izzy's down with him so she could join in the fun. Next, Alex picked out a Baby Einstein DVD, and said that we should watch it "because I seen lots of shows and Isabel only sees a little shows".
I am so amazed. Thrilled and amazed.

gonna tri!

I just signed up for a sprint triathlon this summer. Well, technically it is in September, but most of my training will be this summer. I might try for another sprint race in August, but I want to get some time training in the heat before I sign up for racing in it. Plus I have four and a half months to get ready for the race, so the pressure isn't on yet. But I am excited!!

boys will be boys...

There is something remarkable about little boys. I am fortunate enough to have witnessed the shenanigans of many young boys between my nephews, my friends kids and my very own Devin and Alex, and I have to say that the creativity that little boys exhibit is truly inspirational. Their imagination can create the exotic from the mundane, like the time that Devin excitedly told me that he could make a gun out of his hand. He didn't need to build one or buy one, he was created with one. Joy! Just a few weeks ago Alex found his harmonica and wanted to play it for his friends at school. However, he realized that the harmonica itself was trivial without a few props. So he found himself a knit winter hat, pulled it down to his eyes and proceeded to play with gusto, just like the guys asking for change outside of the Back Bay station. Genius!
Nonetheless, I think that the true brilliance of little boys is realized only when they are in the company of another little boy. They need a comrade to help elevate them to the next level; to push them just a bit further. Maybe it's a competitive influence, like the way a runner likes to train with others that are just a bit faster so that they push themselves harder. Well, lucky for me, my boys have each other as training partners. So when they both need to go to the bathroom, one decides that they can use the toilet together to save time, and the other takes it a step further and suggests that they do "crisscross" (and they wonder why I am neurotic about keeping Isabel out of the bathroom).
I remember when Devin started preschool I was really surprised by some of the things that he learned from the boys who had older brothers. It wasn't just the cartoons with content that no three-year-old would understand or the toys that were geared for seven-year-olds, it was the new things that he wanted to do. Yesterday I came into the back yard to witness Devin, Alex and a friend "surfing" down the play set slide in their socks. Clearly this is another creative moment for the boys; they thought they were so cool!
Suddenly I realized that Alex is one of those kids at preschool. He was trying to hit a golf ball with a golf club at age one, he was watching Star Wars at age three, and he was surfing down the slide with two six-year-olds at age four. I remember wondering how those other parents could let their little guys lose their innocence so quickly and let their boys grow up so fast. I realize that they didn't have a choice. After all, there is nothing that brings out the ingenuity of a little boy like collaborating with another boy.

Happy Birthday Little Lovey!!

Isabel is one year old tomorrow. I cannot believe how quickly time has passed and how much she has changed. I am thrilled at every stage of her development, but part of me wants her to just slow down and be my cuddly baby a little longer. However it is hard to be too sad when she is learning new things every day and she is so damn cute about them! She mastered "So Big" a while ago, and says "Mama" and "Mo, mo" for food. She eats anything and everything; curry, guacamole, grilled fish and and even white chili have been her recent favorites. Some of her new tricks are saying "uh-oh", usually after she throws her cup or her food off the tray of her highchair; and clapping, which she loves to do. If someone actually says "Yaayyy" she will clap insistently and many, many times. She's walking with the walker or when she holds our hands (she will even walk with the assistance of Devin and Alex, which is adorable) but isn't confident to take more than a step (usually from the couch to me) on her own.
However, the big one came today. We have gotten in the nap time routine where Isabel cuddles in bed with Alex for a minute before she's off to her crib. After cuddles we always stand at the door and (with my assistance) she blow kisses to Alex before we go. Today as soon as she was in Alex's bed she started patting her mouth and making little 'kiss' noises with her mouth. Alex and I both were so excited!
She is a very lovey and cuddly baby (I can't yet call her a toddler) and she is truly a blessing to our family. Happy Birthday Isabel!!

catalog of ailments

This winter has been especially brutal in the Blake household. I have tried maintaining a positive attitude about all the illness that we have suffered, thinking it's just because the kids are all little or because we are exposed to new strains of viruses now that we live in a new area...
But this weekend just about broke me. Seriously. I'm done. My right eye is infected and was swollen shut for a day and a half. When I could finally open my eye, I quickly realized that the gelatinous red pus that was supposed to pass for my eyeball was best left unseen, and proceeded to close it much of the day (especially when children were present). This latest ailment got me thinking about how ill we have been since the new year and the results are staggering.

Since January 1, 2009 I have had bronchitis and pneumonia. Alex had a ear infection, bronchitis and a virus that caused him to run a fever for a couple days. Devin and Isabel also shared that virus, each getting ill a few days after the other rallied. Devin also had an ear infection and a stomach virus. Isabel had two ear infections and ear tube surgery, and now I have an eye infection. I am amazed not only at the volume of illness that we have faced, but also at the one name that is not part of this list. With the rest of us fighting various plagues (and looking rather nasty at times, I might add) Andy comes through unscathed. I don't know how he does it, but I am damn jealous.

three miles

It has been a long time coming, but today I ran three miles. If someone had told me back in the summer of 2007 when I first got pregnant with Isabel that it would be nearly a year after her birth before I was running pretty normally again, I would have been very skeptical. But factor in the schedules and illnesses of three little kids (whose needs always come before mama's), a broken leg and pneumonia, and the timing doesn't seem as unlikely.
I am thrilled. I am finally starting to feel, and look, like myself again. Yippieeee!!

Lent

Devin missed school on Ash Wednesday because he was sick. When I explained to him that Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent, he asked me if it was the time that all the candy was taken away (so clearly they have been talking about giving up things for Lent at school). I told Devin that people chose to give things up for Lent because Jesus made such a big sacrifice for us, and we all take a turn sacrificing something for him for the forty days until Easter.
Devin has decided to give up treats for Lent. In Devin's mind, treats include pretty much anything sweet except fruit. So that means no candy, no cookies, no cupcakes, no ice cream, etc... until Easter morning. I wasn't sure if he understood the impact that this would have on his world, so I asked him a couple times if this was what he really wanted to do, and he was certain. Then I reminded him (again!) that once he choose something to give up he has to follow through all the way until Easter. We compromised a bit, and decided that he would give up all treats except for birthday treats, since we have a couple birthdays to celebrate between now and Easter. As a sign of solidarity, I told Devin that I would give up treats also. Then he talked Alex into doing it too, although I know Alex does not understand at all, and expect that there will be a fall from grace on his part. =)
Devin first realized the impact of his decision when the pharmacist at Target offered him a lollipop while filling his prescription, and I reminded him that he gave up treats. The lollipop conversation was repeated at the bank yesterday and at the hair salon today. After school today Devin told me that he didn't have his snack at school because he had gummies from the estimation jar (and I heard mention of rice crispy treats from the student star of the week). I reminded him what he decided to give up for Lent, and I could tell he was starting to think that this sacrifice thing was a bum deal. I feel his pain (since my chocolate cravings are getting out of hand), but I think this will be a good learning experience for him.
What I am surprised at is how often 'treats' are offered to little kids. I never really thought about it before, but in the span of just three days, Devin was offered three lollipops from businesses, candy and a baked good at school and a cookie as part of his 'kids plate' dinner (we ate out tonight). No wonder we have a childhood obesity problem in the United States. Even parents like Andy and I who limit the fast food, deny the soda and treat dessert as an occasional thing still can't manage all the junk food available. Unbelievable!
I think it will be a long forty days for Devin, but I am sure that he can do it!!

valentine's day

I think it was my sister who asked the question, "When did Valentines day turn into Halloween?". I couldn't agree more. Last year at Valentines day I was shocked to realize that Devin was the only kid in his preschool class who handed out only paper valentines. No candy in special Valentines Day packaging, no valentines with the special cut-out to hold a lollipop, not even the candy hearts with the little sayings on them. He had Pirates of the Caribbean paper valentines, and I thought they were cool since they came with tattoos. Man, was I out of the loop.
This year, Alex's teacher asked that we all bring in non-food items for the kids to have a "goody bag" for Valentine's Day. One of the moms expressed her disappointment that he kid would miss out on all the good candy and fun associated with Valentine's Day, but I was thrilled. When we were kids, Valentine's Day had little to do with candy. My parents would give us each a small heart-shaped box of candy, but we never got candy from all our friends. The excitement was around which cool valentine your good friends selected for you. We would get the occasional candy hearts with sayings on them, but no one really ever ate them; I just read them to see if any cute boys gave me one that said "Be Mine" or "You're Cute".
However, for today's valentine exchange the kids were instructed not to put names in the 'To:' field, so that they could simply drop a valentine from each kid in each kids bag. Alex has picked specific valentines for all his buddies, but couldn't give them out that way, and Devin wound up getting two of his own valentines in his collection bag. So much for seeing if your friends picked good valentines for you, and forget about a note from a potential crush!
So when did Valentine's Day become all about the candy and not about a nice note from someone who cares about you? I'm not sure, but this is one case where I miss the way things were.

determination and a lesson learned

My brother Billy has this plaque on his wall that says, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take." I like this. It certainly reflects the competitive spirit that I think he and I share. It's simple really; if you don't try something you will never succeed at it. For as much as teachers may have said that Billy lacked focus in school, his focus and determination when it came to team sports was unyielding. I think that his successes were pretty impressive as well, both then and now.

I myself am more of an individual sports person. I have played a number of team sports and see a lot of value in them. I probably would still play volleyball if I knew of a co-ed league that needed a setter. But triathlon has become my sport, and I am starting to think about races this summer after a couple years off (pregnancy and a new baby followed by a broken leg will do that to you). I was running pretty regularly before the holidays and was pleased with my 'post broken ankle' progress. Then I spent a month being sick and going to the gym was a rare occurrence for me. But I am feeling better and actually getting back into it. Or so I thought. Today I decided to run again. I did half an hour on the bike and thought I would just hop on the treadmill for a mile. Clearly the lung capacity required when running far exceeds that of cycling, because I felt like hell. Seriously. When I got to the point where my chest just hurt and I sounded like I was going to pass out, I decided I wasn't going to make the full mile running. When I told Andy about this he was really encouraging and didn't say, "Why are you running? You're recovering from pneumonia, moron!", which I am fairly certain he was thinking. I know I pushed it. I know I need more time, but like the lesson from my brother's plaque, you don't know what you can do if you don't try.

love and trust

A week ago Devin was goofing around at the table during lunch and he flipped over his chair. Luckily he was fine, but he cracked the one of the spindles on the back of the chair. Andy and I were more concerned that he was okay, and neither of us yelled at him. We didn't need to. Devin was so devastated that he broke the chair that he cried multiple times during lunch.
Later that day I was getting ready to go out when Devin came into the bathroom and asked me if I still loved him even though he broke the chair. I was a little surprised at his question, and knew I needed to give it my full attention. I turned off my hair dryer and got down on my knees to look him in the eyes when I said, "Oh Devin, I will always love you. There is nothing that you can do that will ever make me stop loving you. Even when you make me angry I still love you."

And then I took it a step further. I thought about something that I learned in a training session about preventing child abuse; abusers will tell kids that they shouldn't tell their parents about what transpired because their parents won't love them anymore. So I told Devin that no matter what anyone said or did I would always love him. In a way I'm a little mad that this sweet moment with my little boy questioning how love works was, for me, tainted by something ugly, but I felt like I had to use this opportunity while I had his attention. Child sexual abuse is something that terrifies me. To volunteer in the Charlotte area Catholic schools or the church you need to take a training course on child sexual abuse and part of the course includes interviews with two sexual predators who talk about grooming their target victims (and the victims families) to build trust. It's horrifying. While we certainly learned some of the warning signs of abuse and some ideas about preventing it, the best defense that they articulated was communication; when a child thought something strange or inappropriate was happening and told their parents about it before it got to the point of abuse. So here I am, with my five and a half year old boy, trying to build his confidence that he can truly tell me anything.

Yesterday Devin and I were at the baptism of our friends daughter (while Andy was managing nap time for Alex and Isabel) and Devin kept wiggling and talking in church. After the hand signals failed me, I gave him my best 'You're Gonna Get It Mister' glare and motioned again for him to be quiet. When there was a break in the service Devin leaned over and whispered to me, "Mom, you'll always love me, right?" I chuckled, kissed him on the head and whispered, "Yes, Devin. I will always love you."

Alex

Alex, oh Alex. I love Alex. To be honest, I adore Alex. He has such a big, fun personality and he's hilarious. He really is. I'm probably too soft on him because I have such a sweet spot for him. Therefore, it's my own doing when he doesn't listen to me. I know this, and I am working pretty hard to change it.
Today when I picked Alex up from school (wearing his winter hat in a way that made his ears stick out), he literally jumped up and down when he saw me. Isabel was asleep in the car, and Alex climbed into his seat and pretended to sleep immediately. So he's sitting there with his eyes closed and a big smile on his face (because he thinks he's pulling one over on me) as I talked to Reid, the little boy we carpool with. Alex suddenly awoke when our conversation got interesting, after all he wanted to talk about the song that he sang in school today too! After we dropped Reid off, Alex got out of his car seat and into the booster that Reid was riding in, despite my telling him not to. I scolded him, but didn't yell because Izzy was sleeping. Sometimes scolding seems effective, and I think that he genuinely wants to be a good boy, but today he wasn't too bothered by what I was saying. We pulled into the garage and immediately Alex was out of his seat and Isabel was awake. I asked him if he woke her up (a major no-no) and he denied it. I asked if he was lying and he said he wasn't. I made him look me in the eyes and answer me. And I had no idea if he told me the truth, and no proof either way. In reality, she would have woken up shortly because the car wasn't moving, but I really wanted to know if he was being honest and I was really frustrated. Alex knew I was angry and he cried.
So we made our way into the house; Alex insisting that he didn't lie and he didn't wake Isabel, me frustrated that I didn't know if I was letting him get away with naughty behavior or not. Once inside, I was busy putting things away and Alex and Iz were playing. When I started to listen to what he was saying, I realized that he had just taken off Isabel's shoes and put them away, and he was in the process of putting her vest on the hook with his own. Not only had he put his things away like he's supposed to, but he also took care of his little sister.
And this is why I struggle with Alex. One minute he's being a little shit and I'm mad at him, the next he's being a total sweetheart and I just love to see that side of him.

genetics

Genetic composition is a funny thing. Isabel looks just like Andy. Everyone who sees her says so, and it's true. She has his coloring without a doubt, and she already has more hair than him (hehe) but the clincher is her huge chocolate brown eyes. She is absolutely Andy's baby girl. Some people ask me if it bothers me that she doesn't resemble me, but I think she's beautiful and would change nothing about her. Well, maybe not nothing. We went for her nine month checkup this week and despite all the good news about our healthy little one, we are headed to the Ear/Nose/Throat specialist on Monday to talk about getting ear tubes for Iz. It's not a huge surprise, since Devin and I have both been through it and because she has had a bunch of ear infections, but I'm a little disappointed. My beautiful baby appears to be a genetic replica of her father. And what is my genetic contribution to this little one? The bum ears. The eustachian tubes that don't drain properly to be exact. I like to think that I have a couple characteristics that would be a real benefit to my children. Andy says he hopes they get my natural athletic ability (he's jealous that I throw a tighter spiral than him), and Devin has my coloring, which I love (side note: combine that with huge eyes like his father and he's one lucky little boy). Alex is always singing, and I like to think that I have an positive contribution there also. But Isabel, well so far she has my ears.
Let's just hope she gets my ankles too.

Happy New Year!!

The funny thing about the holiday season is that no matter how fun and enjoyable it is, it's also such a time suck. Seriously. Buy presents, wrap presents, take pictures for Christmas cards, order, assemble and send Christmas cards, put up a tree; decorations; nativity scene; outside lights, hang stockings, read Christmas stories. Then add the social things, like class parties, making treats for class parties and spending time with friends and family. It's a lot. There are so many good and fun things that go into the holidays (and it truly is my favorite time of the year), but it's a lot. No wonder I haven't written in my blog since mid-November!!

This year we decided to drive to Chicago for Christmas (or rather the airlines decided when they raised airfare and started charging for every checked bag. Can you imagine how many checked bags and car seats a family of five with three small kids has?). Santa came the day before we made the trip, which was really fun. Devin was so excited that he was up at 3:10am looking down the stairs for presents under the tree. We held the boys off until about 6:30am and then the crazy shredding of wrapping paper began. They were done by the time Isabel awoke, and she had more fun trying to eat the bows than paying any attention to the presents. We spent most of the day in our jammies playing with the kids toys before we started loading up the car for our big trip. Over the mountains and through the fields (roughly 820 miles) to Grandmother's house we go.
So we loaded up a bunch of clothes, presents, books and countless snacks and left our 65 degree home at 7:30am. An hour and a half into our trip Devin vomited in his seat. I think it's safe to say that he gets car sick. Despite our auspicious beginning (and a big laugh about seven hours into the trip when Devin casually mentioned that his seat was stinky) we made it to my parent's house in just under fourteen hours (with a negative 70 degree temperature change). We were prepared to spend the night in a motel somewhere along the way, but the boys were motivated to get to Grandma and Grandpa's house and Isabel was a dream traveller as long as she had the company of a parent in the back seat.
We had a wonderful time in Chicago. We spent almost all of our time with one family or another, and really enjoyed our visit. There were they typical scheduling issues that cropped up (and the not-so-typical plumbing issue at my parents house), and unfortunately 3/5 of the Blake family got sick, but overall it was a good visit. Devin cried profusely when we had to leave his cousins, and it served as a good reminder why we visit. Yes, it's a long drive. Yes, we often get sick while there. Yes, there are tight quarters when you add five additional people to any household. But it is also among our favorite things to do, and something that our kids always look forward to - spending time with our families.
After a week and a half, we made it back to our house at 10:30pm on New Years Eve after another 13.5 hours in the car (this time without vomit). We tucked the kids into bed, unpacked the car and collapsed on the couch in time to ring in the New Year. I think we were both asleep within an hour of the beginning of 2009, but we have all year to celebrate. In some ways I am sad that the holidays are over, but I think we are all glad to be getting back to normal. Tomorrow all the Blake boys will be off to school and work, and Isabel and I will be running errands and getting the house back in shape (hopefully). Not particularly exciting, but sometimes the normal routine is a good thing.

Peace and happiness to all in the new year.