February 1st

Thursday is February 1st, and should be my niece Brianna's eleventh birthday. Brianna should be turning eleven. Just thinking of that is enough to make me want to cry. I can't believe its been two years since I last saw her alive. I just don't know how my sister and husband manage. They are amazing people.

the joy of naps

William has decided that naps are "so 2006". I knew this was coming, after all he is three and a half, but I am devastated! I can still get him to "have a rest" for about an hour in his bed before he starts with the constant, "Mommy, is my awake?" (note: need to work on the kid's grammar). Its seriously one of the hardest things for a parent to come to terms with, and I am struggling. After all, if he doesn't nap then I am on the job with the little men from 6:30 in the morning (or 7:00 on a good day) until 7:30 at night. No break. No time to do anything without the help of the boys. Sure I can make phone calls, do laundry, clean the kitchen when they are around, but email is damn near impossible and forget any nap-time workouts (which is particularly brutal since they have been sick and I haven't been making it to the gym). Now Henry is up. Until another day...

happy holidays

I love the holidays. I really do; the only thing better than Christmas is my birthday (although now that I am getting older the birthdays are getting a little less exciting). Unfortunately we were all sick with the stomach flu when Santa came to our house. We all managed to rally that morning and have a great time (after all, what is more exciting than presents!), but the night before was tough for William and I and the night following was horrible for the King. Then we all had vicious colds in time for our trip to Chicago. For a change, we were the people hacking on the plane (much to other passengers dismay, of course). Our time in Chicago was hectic as always, but very fun. The boys really loved their time with the family, and I can really see how they get different enjoyment from each place that we stay (quality time with the grandparents, crazy time with the cousins). Moving around a lot while we are there is tough, but its good for them to see more of the family that way. They were really quite resilient about sleeping different places (Henry even slept in a bed for a couple days!)and we all got over our colds. I managed to contain the damage of not working out for weeks and eating/drinking more than usual. I only gained two pounds on our trip - not too bad considering how far from my normal habits I strayed. We had a really good trip, but we were all thrilled to be home again. Today the King went to work, William went to preschool and Henry and I went to the gym. I love being back in the routine. Happy 2007!

off week

I decided to take a couple days off to let my back recover, and that has turned into almost a week off. Seriously. I think I did yoga once this week. I consciously decided to take the first couple days off for my back, then William got sick. Poor guy. Obviously I really felt bad for him, but I was also bummed that it killed any chance that I had of getting to the gym (or finish any holiday errands). I think he'll be back at school tomorrow and I can go to Pilates. If my back does well, then maybe I can get some good workouts in this weekend (in between the birthday parties and holiday festivities). I'm tired today. I actually just realized that Wills has slept through the night only once this week. Having a sick child is like having an infant. I hope William kicks this soon, and that the rest of us stay healthy...

nutrition plan

A few weeks ago I worked with a great trainer (who is the Yoda of triathlete.com) to complete a fitness assessment and nutrition plan for me. He collected all kinds of info on me (current weight, measurements, current exercise regimen, etc) and gave me some recommendations to get into better shape. I went into this thinking that I was okay with my size but not thrilled with my shape. His recommendation was that I work on losing fat and gaining muscle to bring my body fat percentage down. Sounds easy enough, right? So I have been counting calories, fat, protein and carbs daily. It kind of sucks. It really sucked at first, but we quickly learned that certain recipes provide all of that info (thank you Cooking Light), so I don't have to calculate it myself (where calculating means measuring out each ingredient, looking up the details on that online, adding all the numbers for each ingredient and dividing by the number of servings). I also need maintain my current cardio routine and lift more often; he recommended that I lift pretty heavy weight (where I am reaching fatigue after 8-12 reps). The workouts have been good. I really like lifting, and have been pretty motivated to workout often. I did something to my back last weekend, so I have been taking it a little easier this week... but probably not easy enough, since I am still in pain. I think its because I haven't been consistent about stretching well after my workouts, and this can really mess me up - especially after runs. I am hopeful that with a couple days off and some yoga or pilates I'll be back on track soon. I did pretty well through Thanksgiving; I ate healthy during the day and then I really enjoyed my Thanksgiving dinner. I also enjoyed the leftovers for a couple days, but I think I balanced the rest of my eating pretty well. Christmas should be another story though. We will be staying with family for a week and a half and my mother will inevitably make her usual zillion Christmas cookies. Its like I walk through the door and become a kid again... "cookies for breakfast? Sure!". I just hope I don't undo all the good that I have done thus far.

joys of technology

I was all excited that the website that I use to post my blog actually remembered my login for a change, so I didn't have to log in. Small thing really, but exciting nonetheless. Then I noticed a little blurb about upgrading to a newer version of the service and I went for it. Newer is better, right? So I had to log in to my blog (thereby taking away my brief satisfaction about the remembered password) and then was prompted for a google login. I didn't think I had a google account, so I filled out the form to create an account, and was promptly informed that my email address already existed in their system. Now I clearly need the little service where they email me my password; if I didn't know I had an account then surely I don't know my password. However, there are no links to this service on the page. I click a couple links that I think may take me to something that will let me ask for my password, but all for naught. So I restarted my browser and came back to the home page for the blog service only to have to log in again. Ugh! This time (after providing my password, again) I decide to skip the upgrade and come straight to write a new entry in my blog. Now I forgot what I was planning to write about. So until another day...

we do what we can

We recently attended a Halloween party hosted by the March of Dimes at the Children's Museum. All the little ones were in full costume and a lot of fun was had by all. However, what struck me at this event was that the King and I were the only people there who did not have preemies (and given the size of my kids, I felt like we stood out...). It was a little strange, and I almost felt like I needed to justify our attendance. I explained to one very friendly woman that we support the March of Dimes. I told her that when my niece Brianna was in the NICU for her heart the nurses called her the "big sister" because at 8lbs 5oz she was huge compared to all the preemie babies. I guess seeing all those little ones touched me in some way. And lets face it, the March of Dimes helps kids. They help babies. Why wouldn't we support them? When that same woman got up to speak at the event she started talking about how everyone in the room knew about the struggles and joys, fear, anxiety and hopefully relief that comes with having a preemie and then she mentioned meeting me, a mother who doesn't have a preemie, and she said that we were there because we support children and support organizations that help children. I was a little embarrassed then, but I realized that she was grateful for our support - especially since we weren't in the same situation as all of the other people there. I guess for me, helping any organization that helps kids makes me feel like I am doing something good and positive to honor Brianna. Since I can't bring her back, I guess that will have to do.

why weigh on a sunny day??

We have been busy again. I feel like that is our norm though, and the King and I are periodically taking steps to try to slow our lives down. For instance, we decided not to go to our vacation place this weekend even though a nearby town over is having a big pumpkin festival that the kids would probably love. However, it will be a full house with all the owners (and some guests) there and we know it would be anything but restful. Since we are coming off a week where Devin had (has?) a stomach bug and I have a cold, we need restful. I hope we can stick with it... In other news I am trying to figure out a way to stay motivated and get into better shape before I start tri training again. One would think that I would be in amazing shape since I was training so much, but I was also eating a lot. After my last race I started dieting and lost a couple pounds, but I think that I have found them again. I think I'm just not motivated to constantly watch what I eat. When I reflect on when I lost my baby weight after William was born, I feel like once I made the decision to get healthy I just stuck with it. But then over time I eventually snuck up a few pounds (ironically to the exact weight that I am now). The same thing happened after Henry was born. I decided to lose the baby weight and got down to a good weight pretty easily (I actually got down to the same weight as I was after having William, but was a size smaller. How cool is that?). I'm not saying it wasn't hard work, but I had an easier time doing it for some reason. I think I was in the zone; I was just really focused. Again though, over a few months my weight climbed a few pounds and I am having a really hard time getting them off. I almost feel like my body wants to be that weight - that my "normal" is slightly overweight. Man do I want to change that. Time to get motivated again. BTW - the title of my post is from the Phish song "Weigh". Seemed appropriate.

Miss me again?

Funny how this happens. I can't believe that a month has passed since I last wrote. My loyal readers are probably terribly disappointed (sic). A lot has happened this month. I competed in another tri, William started preschool, the King abandoned me for a week (work travel - a likely story) and I had a birthday. I am officially 30 (again!).
The tri was the 9th of September, and it was really pretty tough. The half mile swim was really flipping cold; I now realize that wetsuits really aren't optional for September races. The bike was a little longer than expected (16 mi) and it had a giant climb that really kicked my butt. There was a 1.5 mile uphill that was so steep that some cyclists were having problems staying upright (you know how you go so slow that you can't balance... yeah like that). The rest of the course was hilly, but more of what I am used to. However, that huge hill just did me in - and we had to do it twice! Then the run was your normal 5k. It was also hilly but again what I am used to since its quite hilly where I live. I was glad to have done it and overall pleased with my results (strong swim, crappy ride, decent run). I think my recent health scares took some focus off of training for my race, so I think that part of me was just glad to be past the race and have the good results (race and health) to celebrate.
Another reason to celebrate is that Wills started pre-school (3 mornings a week). Wooohooo! He likes it, although he still would rather be home than there. He learned something pretty important the first day of school - he learned to pee standing up. Pretty funny... he's all proud of himself. We are finally getting into a pretty good routine with school and its impact on our lives (getting the boys out of the house before 9:00 seemed a pretty daunting task before). All in all things are really good.

benign

benign...benign...benign!!!
I couldn't be more happy! Yoooohoooo!! Clearly that is a huge relief. I know that thyroid cancer is the cancer to get (if you have to get one), but I am still quite glad not to have it. Now I just need to figure out the lung thing. I went for a set of pulmonary function tests last week and am waiting for the results; I think I did alright though. I am still using Albuterol before working out and that seems to be helping. And frankly, given the other health issues that I was potentially facing, a little inhaler before exercising is nothing! That being said, I am competing in another tri on Saturday. I feel like I have lost my focus lately (given the health issues in the family and all - did I mention our ER trip for William's bug bite...?), but I know that I can complete the race. I don't expect to set any records, but I can complete it. I haven't really been enjoying my training as much lately, and am actually looking forward to doing some other things (like hiking and Pilates). I am thinking about doing a 10k in October, but I haven't signed up for anything yet. We'll see. Right now I am just thrilled that the family all seems to be healthy!

and continue...

Since my last post I determined that I really wasn't experiencing tightness in my chest during workouts when I consistently used the Albuterol inhaler prior to working out. While it is exciting to feel good during workouts again, I am a little nervous about needing the inhaler for exercise. It could be worse though. My doc ordered a full set of pulmonary function tests to determine the overall view of how my lungs are performing these days, and she told me I can race next month if I feel up to it and the Albuterol seems to be working. Very cool. The bigger issue is that I am going to meet with an endocrinologist tomorrow about my thyroid. The thyroid ultrasound showed a nodule that my doc thought might need a biopsy so I'm going to the specialist. Little nerve-wracking, but I know that the majority (like 95%) of people who get biopsies do not have malignant nodules. And I'm not really all that special, am I?

health issues continue

After my week off I have been back at it again. I'm glad to be working out, but my lungs are still and issue. I am on a daily inhaled steriod and I am supposed to use an Albuterol inhaler before workouts... if only I could remember to do so. My workouts this week have been tough; my lungs just don't seem to expand as much as they should and I really struggle in the first 5-10 minutes of my workout. Not all that enjoyable, and its even happening when I swim now. Makes me dread swimming, and I love to swim! Its a bummer. I am nervous that this will become my new normal, which would really stink. On top of the lung issues, I am going through some thyroid testing to see if there is a problem there. I have been really tired and napping more lately than I typically would, but I have attributed that to training and kids keeping me up at night. Maybe not, but I guess we will have to wait and see.

Big comeback followed by time off...

I managed to train well for a week or so after my race, but was so flipping busy that I haven't written (sorry). Then I took a week off - a whole week where I did not workout even once. Normally I would be a little uptight about that, but this was all for good reasons. Last Thursday we started filming Trading Spaces - a three day event. We had applied to be on the show last fall with our friends A & J, and we went pretty far through the process, but they chose to go with teams closer to the city for a more urban setting. Then they called us a couple weeks back to see if we were still interested (the network picked them up for a few more shows so they called us back), and two weeks later we were taping the show. Pretty wild. We had a blast. The first day was a lot of setup and filming background info. The next two days were all about working in the room. It was a lot of fun and a lot of work. The day after taping ended (we were exhausted and we had a great new room!) my old friend Ted came to visit. Theo and I became friends when I was sixteen and we were incredibly close. While I haven't seen him in probably eight years, its amazing how the relationship seems to pick up where it left off with good old friends. The next day I went to Chicago for my Grandmother's funeral, which was quite sad. She had been ill for a long time and was deteriorating rapidly, so while we realize she is in a better place, it is never easy to lose someone you love. It was nice to see my family though, despite the reason. Today is the first day that I feel like we are getting back to normal and I actually got a workout in again. I am doing another race next month, so I need to get serious again. I hope that the remainder of this month stays pretty mellow though...

I'm baaack!

don't call it a come back; i've been here for years...

or rather I've been on the sidelines for years... but I'm back! When I got up at 5:30 race-day morning it was pouring. I mean pouring! Thunder, lightening the whole bit... and I started thinking, "Should I really do this? Given my recent health issues and the weather, is this all a sign that I should just skip it this morning?" But then I reminded myself that triathlons are not for the weak! By the time I got to the race site the rain had slowed to a drizzle and things were looking good. I set up my transition area, scouted the entry and exit points, waited in the hour long line for the port-o-let and had time to kiss all my boys before heading to the sand. The weather was perfect - dry, little sunny, mid-seventies. However, the swim was a little tough. I really struggled to find an open place to swim, and I couldn't seem to get into any kind of a rhythm until well into the swim. I didn't really feel like my chest was tight (thanks goodness!) but I really didn't feel smooth either. I was just off. But the bike was good. I think that between the extra time spent on my trainer and the hills around my house, I really made some improvements on the bike. It was great. The run started out tough; I had a pretty solid cramp in my left calf, which hung on until about 8 minutes into the run. I didn't feel like I was moving well; in fact at first the only people I passed on the run were walking. When we went into the trail section of the run, the craziness really began. All the rain from the last couple days, plus all the people in the three waves in front of me made the trail into a pure mud-path. Everyone was mostly just trying to move from one rock to another to avoid the giant mud puddles. I even ran right out of each of my shoes at different points. When I got back on the road, it felt like each foot was an extra five pounds, and the mud was just flying off my feet as I ran. However, I think the trail re-energized me because I started feeling good again. I finished in 1:25:04 - a time with which I am quite happy. I am a little bummed about my swim (clocking my slowest swim in my triathlon history), thrilled about my bike (probably one of my fastest) and overall I am quite proud of my come back!

tomorrow's the big day

So as recently as yesterday I thought I might not race tomorrow. We all had a rough morning on Friday, since Henry was up from 11 - 2am and the Wills got up at 7am. So tired. I went for a run around lunch time (87 degrees and humid) and felt pretty crappy the first five minutes. My chest felt seriously tight; lungs not expanding to full capacity. It got much better, but the beginning of the run really dissapointed me. I really wish I had gotten better rest, but I can't pinpoint that as the thing that I need to get better. Do I need rest? time? meds?... all of the above? At any rate, I decided to swim this morning to see how I felt and to finally decide if I would race tomorrow. I had a really good swim. My chest was still tight at first, but it got better as I went. I swam a 500 in 8 minutes, which is typical for a training swim, and I felt good afterward. I am a little concerned about the race tomorrow, since I haven't done any long workouts since this virus took me down. And during my run yesterday I kept thinking, "I have to start running an hour after I started racing. Can my lungs handle this?". I hate doubting myself. Its tough enough to prepare for my first race in four years, but to struggle with my health on top of it only adds strain and uncertainty. I really want a victorious comeback, but I might have to settle for just doing my best given the situation. After all, there are other races...

4 days til race time

So its four days until my first triathlon in four years and I'm fighting a virus. It started a couple days ago with a sore throat (which resulted in laryngitis) and a chest cold. I went to the doc today and she said that my lungs sound clear, but when she gave me the lung test where you blow into a spirometer I couldn't even move it half way. Clearly my doctor was surprised, since she explained how to complete the test again, and had me try again. My results were the same. Pretty poor lung function for someone who is planning to compete in a race in a couple days. I think I need my lungs for my tri. She put me on a steriod (prednisone) and an albuterol inhaler. She also told me that I need to listen to my body and if I am not healthy enough to race I should skip it. Or if I start and find my lungs aren't doing well I should quit. The latter would be pretty tough for me; I would find it hard to quit once I've started. Actually either skipping or quitting would be hard for me, but I won't race if I'm not better. Its not worth it. I want my first time back to be a good racing experience. So I have a couple days to get healthy. Hopefully rest and the wonders of modern meds will do the trick.

update

Overall our trip to Chicago was good. The boys had a lot of fun with the families and we certainly enjoyed seeing everyone. The only bummer was that the boys were sick. Will had a cold when we got there, and Henry had a high fever and a rash toward the end. That developed into an ugly cold and pink eye for them both... not a lot of fun for us.
On the training front I managed to run quite a bit in Chicago, but only biked once and didn't swim at all. I have been training well again since we got home last week, and I'm feeling pretty good for my race next week. I know that I can complete the race, but I want to do well. For me that means finishing in a time competitive with the times from my previous races. I guess we'll see next week. One good thing is that the King tuned my bike again, and now my bike is shifting like a dream. I had the greatest ride the other day and I have the King to thank for that. I love my hubby.

running hell

We're visiting the families in Chicago and today I got up at 6:00 (thank you William) and the King watched the boys while I went for a run. It was already pretty darn humid, but I was optimistic that I would have a good run, especially since I took the day off yesterday. I had a horrible night's sleep (the King and I have William in our room, and he has a cold...), but I was still optimistic. I made it to the forest preserve and noticed that they have mile markers on the trail. I thought I was coming up to the first mile marker around 9:30, but saw nothing. 10:00, 10:30 still nothing. So I start thinking, "well, this is a bike trail, maybe the mile markers are further apart since people typically ride longer than run." At 11:00 I saw the mile marker. I was dumbfounded. 11 minute miles! That's horrible. I made it a few minutes past the mile marker and came back. I thought my return trip was better, but I did the mile in 11 minutes again. I was seriously bummed. I ran a total of 39 minutes, but clearly very slowly. I think its time to start running intervals again. =(

love the bike... love it!

I went for a ride the other day and had an epiphany... I love the bike! I had not been out on my bike in almost two years and while I've been on the trainer and taking spinning classes for the last couple months, its just not the same. I had a couple issues (forgot my sunglasses and nearly went blind with the dust in the eyes), but just absolutely loved my ride.
I did about 17 miles (where the end was quite hilly) and I have to say riding outside is far more strenuous than any indoor rides. It felt great. I kicked my own ass.

So I snuck a quick swim in today while the boys were at child watch at the gym. I didn't know how long they would last so I hopped in and swam a little more that half a mile. A friend of mine asked what my typical half mile swim time was the other day and I realized that I haven't timed myself for that distance in years. I guessed about 15 min for a training swim (aah the impact of adrenaline when racing) and I was pretty close. I did 40 lengths in 17 min (half mile is 36), so I think 15 min for a half is about right. Not really impressive, but at least I'm consistent. =) It was good to get a workout in and I had a good swim. I think I'm ready to get back into training.

miss me?

Has it really been almost a month since I last posted? I knew we would have a crazy June, but I didn't expect it to start mid-May...
But between the anniversaries (some happy, some sad) in May and getting ready for our trip I should have known better. We did a road race on May 21 in honor of my niece, and it was really a good event. The race benefited Children's Hospital, and it was really nice to be amongst friends that day. I ran pushing the boys, so I really wasn't competitive, and the only real bummer was that my back started bothering me only hours after the race. I took it easy for a couple days and laid off running (but tried to stretch a ton) and things started to seem better, but then we left for vacation on June 1st. We had an amazing trip (just the hubby and I, while the boys stayed home with Grandma - thanks mom!!). Truly amazing. We spent a lot of time reading and relaxing on the beach, playing in the water and eating decadent meals. Aaaah.... the good life. I managed to run a couple times and swam in the ocean once (well, I played in the ocean a lot, but only really swam once), but the training was minimal. Basically I haven't had a good week or training until the week prior to the May 21st road race and now I'm getting a little nervous. I need to get out on my bike. I've rode on the trainer, but haven't been out on the road yet. Yikes! Time to get serious, right? But the King is leaving tomorrow for a business trip (and will be gone most of the week) and my babysitter isn't really available this week. Guess its a good thing my first race is at the end of July, eh?
I wouldn't trade the vacation though. Have I mentioned that it was fabulous?